The Man I was named after
by peacegirl597
Summary: After Edward left, Bella went to a party and got drunk. She ended up pregnant with Mike Newton's son. Bella dropped out of school and moved out of Charlie's. Anyways, the story takes place 6 yrs after Edward Junior EJ is born. Bella goes missing and EJ is set on a task to find the one who loved his mother. The one who broke her. The one who he's named after. Edward Cullen.
1. 1 My mother

EJ POV

Mom was on the computer again. She was on it almost every night now. She was always googling names and places that I'd never heard of. Once, I looked over her shoulder to the computer screen and she got upset at me.

"EJ, you know mommy can't be bothered while she works!" She had said.

"Mom, you aren't even working!" I'd retaliated. I remember feeling horrible that I'd snapped at her. My mom was always sad and I think I made it worse.

Sometimes my mother cried. She never did it in front of me, but I could hear her at night when the house was quiet. She had nightmares, too. Sometimes she screamed my name in her sleep. Well, not EJ, but Edward. She would Yell "Edward! Please! Don't leave!" I used to go into her room and hold her hand and tell her I wouldn't leave, but it made things worse. I don't think I'm the right Edward. My name is Edward Junior. I don't know who Edward senior is, though. I asked her once if Edward was my father's name. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't, but I still wanted to know who I was named after. She wouldn't tell me.

I was conceived at a high school party. Yeah. One night she decided to have a drink and… Well you know the rest. After two years of badgering, my mom finally told me who my father was. His name was Michael. Mike Newton. Mom told me he was a Douche. She told me not to go get my hopes up and not to go find him. I don't want to find him, anyways.

The phone started to ring, so I got up from the couch to go answer it.

"Hello?" I asked

"Hello, EJ! How are you?" It was Mrs. Wellington, Grandpa Charlie's new girlfriend.

"Good. Do you want to talk to my mom?"

"Oh yes, put Bella on the phone," She cooed.

"Mom!" I yelled handing her the phone "It's Nancy Wellington!"

They talked for a bit and then Charlie got on the phone. Grandpa isn't really on the best terms with my mother, Bella Swan. He never really supported the fact that my mother was pregnant, not out of high school, and un-married. Not to mention the fact that she dropped out so she didn't have to face criticism from other people because she was pregnant. Sometimes I feel like I ruined my mother's life. She's only 25. I'm seven.

I left the room to go get some water, but when I came back, my mother had switched the phone to speaker phone so that she could type on the computer and talk to Charlie at the same time.

"Bells? Are you on that goddamn computer again?" Grandpa was angry.

"Yes, Dad, I am actually."

"It's not healthy."

"I don't care."

"Bella, you won't be able to find them," He said in a softer voice. I was currently sitting behind the door, so that she couldn't see me and send me to bed. I needed to hear this. I wanted to know why mom was always on the computer, typing away her life.

"I can and I will," Her voice was hard and unforgivable.

"And what if you do find him? _Edward."_ He emphasized the last word almost as if he was saying a swear word. Edward. This was it. The man she cried about in her sleep. The man I was named after. My mother gasped.

"Dad! You-you can't just… you can't just say that!" Now I was lost. Why was my name so… hurtful to her?

"Bella, it's true. It's an unhealthy obsession! You spend your life trying to track those Cullens down! You named your son after him, for god's sake! So I think I have every right to say _Edward's _name! Listen loud and clear, Bella! _Edward is never coming back._"

Then my mom started to cry.

"I know you don't like the choices I make. I know you don't support me. But I never thought you would… do that. It's just… Bye dad," She shut the phone off.

She sobbed for a few long minutes before shouting in the air,

"I know you're there, EJ!" I jumped and made my way to the living room.

"Sorry," I sighed.

"I am too," she sighed back. We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke.

"Who was he?"

"What?" She asked.

"Who was he? The man I'm named after?"

"Oh. He was… well… I was in love with him, that's all." She looked down, her youthful face old with sadness.

"But… you loved him more than dad?" I asked.

"Yes," She sighed

"What happened?"

"He got tired of me. And he left."

"And you got sad and met dad?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. But you didn't love dad?"

"I told myself I loved him," My mother wore a tortured expression, "I made myself kiss him and love him. But I didn't really want to. I was still in love with Edward."

"Oh." My mother was broken, and I could see that now.

"You want to find him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm still in love." And with that, she got up from the computer desk, and went to her bedroom.

I've never heard her cry louder.

I was up early. I had no school because it was spring break **(A/N Uh-oh. Something bad always happens to Bella on spring break.),** and even though it was only 4:30 am, I couldn't go back to sleep. Something was wrong. My mother hadn't been home in three days, and that was normal. She would sometimes go out for the night or two even. But this was different. She didn't leave any emergency numbers on the fridge. She didn't leave any food to cook for dinner. She didn't hire a last-minute babysitter. She didn't tell me when she left. She was just… gone.

I was getting worried. I wandered around, looking for a note or _something._ But I came up empty. Finally, I checked the computer desk. I found a letter.

_Dear EJ,_

_ Don't worry about me, I'm fine. This will sound very crazy but I've left. For good. I'm so sorry. This wasn't a choice, I swear. I was forced to leave. I'm lucky that they're letting me write to you, really. I'm writing as fast as possible. I know I've been a horrible mother but I love you. I've been upset for a long time now and I'm so sorry you got stuck with me for a mom. I love you. I need you to do something for me. You know my work. You know who I'm looking for. You have permission to use anything in my notebooks, computer and any page I've saved on the internet. I need you to find him. Tell him I am going to the ballet studio. He'll know what I mean. Tell him I love him. There are pictures of him and his family. I managed to find some in yearbooks and other places. If you see any of them, mention my name. Tell them who you are. Even if you aren't sure it's really them. I'm so sorry. I need you to find them. You are so young, too young to travel without an adult. Do you remember Jacob? Well, he will come to pick you up tonight. He has his own instructions. Go anywhere you think will lead you to them. Please. I need you more than ever now. My life depends on this. Everything you need, including cloths, are packed in a bag on my bed. You may bring anything else you want but pack lightly. Whatever you do, don't go to Italy. No matter what. That's all I can tell you without this becoming dangerous to you. I love you. Be safe._

_ ~Mom _

The doorbell rang. Jacob Black.

_**What did you think? More to come! Sorry I jumped into this really fast. The beginning was just an intro… the real story will start soon. REVIEW! :)**_


	2. 2 A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

_**Here ya go!**_

"Get in" Jacob commanded.

"Wait! I need to get my stuff… and I didn't pack anything else besides cloths and... The notebooks! I need to print everything on her computer! We can't go yet!" I was stalling. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go on this insane trip to find someone I didn't even know. But the words from the letter filled my mind. She had said her life depended on this. I had to save her. She said they had taken her. She had no choice.

"Fine," The tall man with long-ish black hair and muscular build said gruffly, "Print the things you need. I already have most of her notebooks. Get anything you need. Then come back downstairs so we can leave."

I ran to the computer, looking at her E-mails, her saved pages, her word documents. I printed everything. I ended up needing to re-fill the printer with ink and paper. There were pictures, too. I found the in a folder taped under the desk. I didn't really read anything, I just printed, knowing I could look at these things later.

I ran upstairs into my mom's room. I grabbed my bag and checked to see what was already in it. A Toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, three changes of cloths, four changes of underwear, a bathing suit, sunglasses, a hat, bug spray, and money. Lots of money. A passport, a Birth certificate, a water bottle, sunscreen, a cellphone, a pocket dictionary for several languages, a towel, many maps of several foreign places, three pairs of socks, sandals, sneakers, a winter coat, a mini foldable umbrella, a rain jacket, rain boots, snow shoes, No wonder this bag was so big! I folded up the letter, and put it in with the many items in my over-stuffed bag. I was about to leave when I remembered something. I ran to my room, grabbed Emmy bear off of my bed and went to Jacob.

"A stuffed animal?" He raised his eyebrows.

"He was my mothers," I sighed, "She gave it to me. She said she got it from her older brother."

"Bella didn't have a brother."

"I know."

"Oh. She meant Emmet," Jacob muttered to himself.

"Who?" I asked

"He was… Edward's brother," He stated awkwardly.

"Oh."

I checked everything one more time and then, we hit the road. I barely knew Jacob. He used to come over a lot when I was little. But then He started acting weird and hung around less often. I saw him less and less. And mommy got sadder and sadder. He was my mom's best friend. I wondered why he suddenly chose to make an appearance after all of these years. We made small talk and eventually, we got to the airport.

"Where to?" Jake asked me

"Excuse me?" I asked back

"Bella told me that you had to pick the places. You're the one with the maps and notebooks."

We sat in the lobby as I read through the notes. Then I saw it. It was an E-mail to my mother. It was from an "Alice Cullen" I shuddered at the familiar last name.

_To: Isabella Swan_

_ From: Alice Cullen_

_Dear Bella, I'm not allowed to do this, I'm not supposed to interfere. But I've seen you. The way you cry at night, and I can't take it anymore! If Edward finds out I'm doing this, I'm dead .He's heartbroken, Bella. You need to come talk to him. Believe it or not, We're in Minnesota . A town called Byron. I have to delete this as soon as it sends. Edward has been away but he'll be back by tomorrow. We're living with the Denali's. I love you, you're my sister forever. _

_ Love, _

_ Alice_

I checked the date. Yesterday. Mom never got to read it.

I didn't understand. Why couldn't Alice send a simple E-mail? What was wrong with this Edward guy? I mean, if he left her, why would he be so heartbroken? It didn't matter. Either way, I would find him.

"We have to go to Minnesota. Now," I demanded. So, within the next hour, we were past security with two tickets to Byron, Minnesota. It was a three and a half long flight from Washington, and I spent the time looking at the pictures. I memorized each face with the names.

Alice- Short, spikey black hair, small features, pretty, pixie-like frame, short.

Jasper- Blonde hair, tall, slightly skinny yet well built ,handsome, pained expression.

Rosalie- Wavy Blonde hair, Beautiful (more-so than the others), Average height

Emmet- Huge, Muscular, curly black hair, handsome, Very large frame, tall

Carlisle- Tall, handsome, blonde hair, the oldest but still youthful

Esme- Again, older but youthful, pretty, small frame but not tiny like Alice's, brown wavy hair

Edward. I saved him for last. He had wavy bronze hair, a semi-built frame, and he was… I don't know! I felt some connection from him.

I read over the journal entries, but they were vague. There was one about vampires.

_vam·pire_

_[vam-pahyuhr] noun _

_1. a preternatural being, commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse, that is said to suck the blood of sleeping persons at night. _

_2. (in Eastern European folklore) a corpse, animated by an undeparted soul or demon, that periodically leaves the grave and disturbs the living, until it is exhumed and impaled or burned._

That was… odd.

The very last thing I came across during the flight was another photograph. It was my mother and… Edward. The picture had obviously been cut out of a yearbook. Underneath, It said:

_"The life of the Prom"_

It was them, dancing. My mother looked so happy. I'd never seen her smile like that. I'd hardly ever seen her smile at all. She was so in love, and by the looks of it, he was too. I wonder what happened. She used to be… happy. Bella Swan and _happy_ just didn't seem to fit. But looking at this one, single photo my mother managed to find in an old yearbook made me think about how her life had changed. It only took one minute to lose her everything. Suddenly, I willed myself to do this. I would find Edward Cullen.

_**There ya go! Second chapter is up! What do you think? I'm working really hard on this story… I really like it.**_


	3. 3 The first of many lies

_**Chapter 3! Ok:**_

"So, What now?" Jacob asked as we pulled out of the rental car shop. We were officially in Minnesota, and I honestly had no clue of what to do next. I couldn't believe they were putting everything in the hands of a seven-year-old!

"Um, I think we should drive around a bit, and see if we can find any of them...?" I said it like a question.

I re-read my list of Things-to-remember that I found in one of the notebooks.

The Cullens don't go to the grocery store often.

Alice can usually be found in malls and shops

They never go out on sunny days

Sometimes they miss school to go hunting or 'camping' (Camping is what the tell people)

Emmett likes to go to the gym and show off.

Carlisle is probably in a nearby hospital.

"Let's start by going to the school. It's not a big town, they can't be too hard to find, right?"

"But it's after three. Won't all of the students be out?"

"Yeah but we should check to see if they're enrolled," I said. And Jacob turned the car to the school's direction.

I added a new map of the town to my folders, that I'd found in the lobby of the car-rental place. I starred the school, the mall, the gym and the hospital to remind me to stop and check. When we got to the school, a lady in a purple shirt and too-tight-for-a-woman-her-size pants, was at the desk.

"May I help you?" She asked.

"Actually, yes," Jacob sighed, "you see, this little boy is a Cullen and I'm his babysitter. He comes to my house Monday through Saturday. He has been pretty sick in the last few hours and is begging me to take him home. However, I don't have the address, and can't take him home! Carlisle doesn't pick him up until eight at night and I just don't think he can last that long. Do you think I could see one of their files so I have their address? Carlisle isn't picking up his phone." When Jacob finished his lie, I realized that I was supposed to be sick. I put on a weak face and rubbed my eyes a few times to make them look red and bloodshot. Then I covered my mouth like I was going to vomit.

"I'm really not supposed to give information like that out to people…" She said.

"Please?" I whimpered in my most weak and pathetic voice.

"I suppose…" She said unsure as she took out a folder labeled "_Edward Cullen"_ and handed it to Jacob, hesitantly.

"Can I take a pic of this with my phone so I don't forget it? I'll delete it right after I get to the house!"

"Alright…" the women was still very timid.

Jake snapped a picture with the camera phone and gave the file back to the lady.

"Thank you," He said. Who knew he was so good at lying and persuasion?

Soon, we were on our way to the Cullen household.

_**Sorry It's so short but I'm tired and I wanna go to bed!Haha ok anyways hope you liked it, theres more to come…**_


	4. AN SORRY and yes I am continuing it!

_**SORRY I KNOW YOU HATE A/N BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!**_

_**So I got a pretty hurtful review… um if you don't like don't read. I know the story isn't totally and completely accurate but it's called FICTION for a reason. Sorry, but please, I tried my best. I can take criticism, but telling me my plot is all wrong and telling me it's so bad that you're laughing is hurtful. Just a side note: to answer your guy's questions, Yes… Bella probably would never drop out of school or neglect her child. But That's the Bella that got back together with Edward. We have no clue who she would turn into if Edward never came back, and this is how I think she would react. Also, EJ does act older than he is, but think of how he's had to provide for himself and Bella. AND I might have a twist on this later for why he's so smart and mature but I don't know yet AND It would be a boring story if he was a normal seven year old AND I can't make Bella TOO much older that the Cullens because, well… you have to read and find out! Anyways do you guys want me to continue? I mean that review really crushed my pride in this story… I WAS having fun with it but if you guys hate it then I guess I don't have to write it anymore… **_


	5. 4 Doctor, Doctor!

_**I just want to say thank you to anyone who reviewed and supported me. You really encouraged me and yes, you are right, I did over react a bit and I'm sorry. I AM CONTINUING Now, on with chapter 4! **_

The house was almost an exact replica of the one in Forks. My mother had taken me to their old house once, but I stayed in the car. She stopped by there on the way from picking me up from school. It was only a week ago. My mother went inside with her camera, and now, I was looking at the exact photos that she took that day.

When we pulled up, I got out of the car and headed to the door. I would confront them, though they might think I was kidding because of my age. I wouldn't care. I rehearsed what to say to each of them in my head. I would be nice to Alice, because she was nice enough to give the town. However, I would _not_ be nice to Edward. No. He deserves to be yelled at for what he did to my mom. I mean, he crushed her. All of those nightmares were his fault.

Jacob stayed in the car, muttering something about leeches. I had no clue what he meant, but when I asked, he ignored me. I went up the long path to the front door of the white house. The second my fist hit the door, it was open. It wasn't any of the Cullens who opened the door, however. It was a tall blonde with middle length hair. No, not Rosalie. I didn't recognize her from any of the pictures, but… she looked… the same. Yes, she had the same pale skin and golden eyes. A cousin, maybe?

"Hello! What can I do for you?" She asked, her voice was too perky.

"Um, I'm looking for the Cullens…" I said awkwardly.

"Oh, well they're all out at the moment… can I take a message or something? Um, like, Who are you, no offense or anything. It's just, we don't get a whole lot of visitors and you don't look like someone they would know."

Dang, they weren't there.

"Um, I'm EJ… wait, who are you?" And how did she know them?

"I'm Tanya… Where are your parents? I mean, you can't be any older than nine."

"Look, I'm really sorry Tanya, but I can't talk right now… I have to find them. Do you know where they are?" I cut right to the chase. Mom didn't mention a Tanya and I didn't want to give her too much information.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't just tell you where they are! I mean, I don't even know you," She exclaimed as if I were asking her to commit a murder for me.

"Please? I _have _to talk to one of them! It's important!" I was about ready to turn on the fake tears when she gave into my pleading.

"Alright. I'll give you Carlisle's phone number! Please, just… don't cry!" I smiled in satisfaction. This woman obviously had no experience with children.

She handed me a slip of paper.

"He's at work, so please don't bother him. And don't tell him I gave you this. He might get mad."

"Okay, thank you!" I yelled as I walked back to the car. I swear I heard her mumble "Strange kid," Before she went back inside. But maybe I was hearing things. She was too far away, anyways, for me to hear her talk that quietly.

"Next stop: The Hospital."

As we pulled into Byron Hospital, I couldn't help but to feel intrusive. I mean, this was his workplace. We parked the car, but did not get out right away. First, I took out the iPhone from my bag and opened safari. I googled the hospital and found the list of staff members on the website. I clicked _"Dr. Carlisle Cullen" _and found he was a doctor in the ER section. Meaning it would be difficult to reach him without an emergency.

"Well, I guess we need to hurt ourselves, then." Jacob said as he took a pocket knife from the back and brought it to his wrist. I, of course, Tried to stop him.

"Don't do that!" I yelled, but it was too late. Blood was gushing from his hand.

"Don't worry," He winked, "I heal fast."

I suddenly felt a pull. I stared at his bloody wrist, unsure of what to do. It looked so… I didn't even know. I had a strong sense of _want_. I wanted it. I tried to block the fact that I … His wrist…

"Come on!" I tried to distract myself from the blood. He kept re-cutting his wrist. He must be crazy. He was utterly insane to inflict so much pain on himself. When we got into the ER, I was surprised to see there weren't many people in the waiting room. I guess a small town means a small amount of emergencies. I went up to the lady at the front desk.

"Um, my friend cut his arm… we think he needs stitches…" I didn't really know what to say.

"Okay," The woman said without looking up from her computer, "The doctor will see you momentarily. May I have a name?"

"Uh, Swan," I said, hoping Carlisle would recognize the name. He had to.

We waited for a few minutes. Jacob went to the 'bathroom' but I knew he was slitting his wrist again. I suddenly wondered what he meant by 'he healed fast'.

"Swan?" The woman called and led us to a room. Standing there was Doctor Carlisle Cullen. He looked to his clipboard.

"Hello Mr…" He stared at the name on the paper for a moment

"Swan."

_**What do ya think? Good? Bad? **_


	6. 5 Better than the real father

_**Chapter five- UP! Thanks so much guys! I love all my readers. **_

When Carlisle recovered from his shock, which was somewhat irrational considering the fact there are many Swan's in the world, Jacob spoke.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Jacob Black… Is that you?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," Was all he replied.

"Shouldn't we fix your hand first…" I started to ask, but to my utter disbelief, there was only a faint mark on his wrist that was just moments ago bloody and voluble. "Um, never mind I guess." I was so lost.

"Why are you here, not to be rude, but is there something wrong? We haven't made void of the treaty or anything by leaving, have we?"

I was so completely confused at this point that I was about to explode. What was going on here? What was the treaty? Why was Jacob's hand healed?

"No, but EJ needs to speak with you. It's an emergency."

"Look, I'm very sorry, but I have to get back to work," the doctor said, pushing past Jake.

"It's about Bella!" I shouted. He froze.

"What about her?" He asked softly, turning around to face me.

"She was my mother."

"Oh. She-She got married?"

"No."

"Who? Who's your father?"

"His name is Michael."

"Where is your mother?"

"I don't know."

We went back and forth like this for a while. By the end of it, He knew everything. He knew why I was here, He knew my mother was missing, he even knew I was named after his son. We sat in the silence for a few moments.

"Do you think… is she… okay?" He finally asked. And honestly, I couldn't answer that question. So, I didn't. I'd never seen a grown man look that sad before. He loved my mother too. Not in the same way a husband would, but he loved her like a father. Somehow, I think he was more of a father to her than grandpa Charlie ever was.

"Carlisle, We really need to talk in private. Bella specifically told us to find _Edward. _ Do you know where he is?" Jacob asked calmly

"No, not really. Somewhere in Italy. He was supposed to stop by today, but airport traffic from Italy has been rough and he can't make it until Tuesday at the earliest." I looked at my list of rules and things to remember.

7. NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO ITALY. EVER.

"I need to see him," I said plainly. I had to. I needed to tell him about my mother. I needed to blame him. I hated him.

"You're welcome to stay for as long as you need," Carlisle sighed. I looked at my list

8. Always trust Carlisle.

"Okay," I said. I didn't mind him. He was a good man, and he obviously cared for my mother. When they left, she lost a father. He was more of a father then Charlie.

_**Sorry for its shortness! I couldn't say much more about Carlisle… Next chapter will be about Alice! Yayy! That one will be A LOT longer, I promise.**_


	7. 6 The Truth about the Cullens

_**And on with chapter six!**_

The house was even bigger on the outside. Tanya glared at me when I walked in, but I ignored her. Carlisle helped me settle into a room with Jacob.

"I'm sorry, there aren't any beds in the house. Our guest room has a couch though, and I'm sure I can find a cot to sleep on," He apologized. Not that was strange.

"Why don't you have any beds?" I asked. Carlisle just stared at me. Then he looked to Jacob.

"He doesn't know?" He asked Jake, who shook his head no.

"What is going _on?_" I asked out loud.

"We can't tell you," Jacob stated almost rudely.

"But-"

"We can't tell you," He repeated.

"Why not?"

"It would be dangerous to your life."

"I don't care."

"Bella doesn't want you to know yet."

"Yet?"

"When the time is right, I'll tell you."

"You promise?"

"Yeah."

"Fine," I grumbled and left the room.

I wandered the house for a bit, looking for someone to talk to. I didn't browse any rooms or anything, just wandered from the kitchen to the living room a few times. Finally, I recognized a small girl from the pictures. Alice.

"Hello!" She danced over to me, "You're EJ, right?"

"Um, yeah," I said "how do you know that?" I asked.

"Carlisle told me," She said it evenly, but something told me she was lying. I was pretty good at reading people.

"Sure," I muttered. I was sick of all this lying. I felt so out of the loop. Why wasn't anyone telling me anything?

"Alice?" I asked

"Yes?" She asked back.

"Why won't anybody tell me what's going on?" I asked in a quiet voice. I felt like such a baby, but I was holding back tears. It had been days since I saw my mother. She was always there when I had nightmares, or when I was sick, or hurt. But now she was gone. Possibly forever. And I was her last chance. If I messed this up, I might never see her again, not to mention the fact that everyone was lying to me, which was the last thing I needed. I was homesick, too. I'd never been away from my house for over a night. I just wanted to go home. Alice sighed, seeing the sadness in my eyes.

"We want to. But we can't," She said.

"But why not?" I asked, "Besides the fact that it's dangerous."

"If we tell you, and get caught, all of us are in deep trouble. We told your mother our secrets. We explained everything to her. And look where she is now!"

"But I want to help her," I whispered. Part of me wondered how she knew Bella was my mom and how she knew my name, but I was used to weird at this point and I was too upset to really question her at the moment.

"I know," She whispered back. We sat in silence for a long time. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't exactly comfortable, either. I spent that moment remembering all of the good times I'd had with my mother. The many trips to the beach, for birthdays and holidays she had off. The Weekends we spent at the town fair in the summer. The days When I was sick and she would read to me and play with me. I missed her. A lot. Yes, she was constantly busy. Yes, sometimes she pulled all-nighters trying to find her family. But that's how love is. It drives you crazy. And through the midst of it all, I started to cry.

"Shh, It's alright. Don't cry," Alice murmured in my ear.

"I-I Mi-iss my mo-other!" I cried.

"I-I know," Now Alice herself was fighting tears, "I miss her too. S-she was p-practi-ically my si-ister. She was f-fam-amily," She was crying tearless sobs. I didn't understand it. Was she faking it? Was there some sort of condition where you can't tear? I decided it didn't matter. I liked Alice. She was… honest. When we were done with our outburst, I spoke up.

"Please," I whimpered, "I think if I knew… I might be able to find my mom," I pleaded.

"I know… I just… I'm not allowed to…"

"Please," I whispered again.

"We aren't who you think we are," She said grimly, "And your mother was the only other human who knew this. You can't tell anyone." I nodded.

"Wait, did you say… the only _human?_" she nodded. I gulped.

"We-We aren't… human. We're undead," She finished.

"What, like, Zombies or something?" I asked becoming half way hysterical. Was this girl crazy?

"Or something," She chuckled humorlessly, "We're vampires." I just stared at her.

"We only drink animal blood," she added as if not to frighten me. Again, I stared, disbelieving.

"I'll prove it to you," She said, determined. She suddenly picked me up and leapt into the air. We were running, zooming through the woods at a speed that should be impossible. When we stopped, I found myself in the middle of the woods.

"We can be dangerous, sometimes human blood is too hard to resist. But our family tries. We are few of many. Most vampires choose a more… human diet than animal. We resist the scent of humans. But we are dangerous too. We are strong, fast and have to sleep and the only eating we do is to hunt down our next kill. You can't outrun me. No human can kill me. My beauty drives you in," She said darkly. I was frightened, but pushed it aside. I remembered that confusing snippet on vampires in the notebook. It started to make sense.

"Prove it," I challenged.

And boy, did she prove it. She ran in circles, around and around, as fast as possible. She looked like a whiz of black and white because of her hair and skin. I could feel the wind around me that she was conjuring up from the speed. When she stopped, she looked me square in the eyes as she picked up a medium sized stone and crushed it to dust between her fingers. Alice Cullen was no human, she was a vampire. All of the Cullens were. I'd finally gotten the truth.

_**Yes, this chapter is simmilar to a part in the meadow scene in twilight but I changed it to make it my own. And I love Alice ;)**_


	8. 7 The NotSoSecret Ability

_**I'm totally making up this story as I go along… So let's see what happens next, Shall we?**_

I'd only had enough time to process this in my head for about a minute, when Carlisle came bolting through.

"Alice!" He yelled, "How could you tell him? I tried to stop you but… My god Alice, you had no right to do that!" I'd never seen him get so angry.

"He deserved to know," Alice spit through her teeth, "He was bound to find out anyways!"

"Bella didn't want him to know. He's not safe now. None of us are," Carlisle's voice had dissipated into a whisper.

"He had to know," Was all she said, before disappearing into the trees.

"Come on, EJ," he sighed, picking me back up in his arms, ready to carry me back to the house at full speed. I did as I was told, but didn't want to.

We ran quickly through the forest, never stopping until we reached the large white house. Though everyone probably knew I now kept their secret, none of them perused me. I think I should've been afraid now, considering I was aware they longed for my blood. But I wasn't. I felt almost… safer, knowing that they were strong enough to protect me. And even though I didn't even know most of the Cullens, I trusted them on some level. Like how they trusted me to keep their secret.

I hadn't even realized Carlisle had left the living room until I felt a cold hand softly tap my shoulder, and found myself staring into the eyes of none other than Jasper Cullen.

"May I talk to you?" He asked, and I noticed his slight southern drawl.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Was all I could say. According to my notes, Jasper wasn't really one to talk.

"I just… I want to apologize to you. It's all my fault we left. You're mother had cut herself and I just couldn't… contain myself. There is so much you should know about us… I can't even explain…"

"It's okay. It was only instinct. But, if you don't mind, could you tell me more?" I asked.

"I suppose so," He said not completely sure, "What do you want to know?"

"Well… What can you do? What are your weaknesses? Do you-" I was cut off.

"Whoa. One at a time," he laughed, "Well, Every vampire has the basics. Super strength, super speed, increased senses like smell and hearing, things like that. But some of us… have… special abilities. I'm an empath. Well, kind of. I can change emotions," He said, calmly. And I believed him. Because as I saw his face calm, so did I.

"Wow. Are you… The only one?" I asked.

"No, not at all. Not every vampire had a gift but we have many gifted people in this family," He explained, "Alice can see the future, but it's a complicated gift because it isn't always a guarantee, the future can change with just the slightest change in course. Does that make sense?" I nodded.

"And then there's… Edward," He said the name as if he were afraid to say the name out loud in front of me. I'm sure he could sense my tenseness when Edward was mentioned because of his gift, "He can read minds, from a distance. It's easier to hear them when the person is closer, but if he's used to the person, he can read them from a mile away," He struggled to explain how each individual gift worked for over an hour. I listened intently, wanting to know as much as I could.

"Is it possible… for a human to have a gift?" I interrupted.

"I suppose. We believe Alice was a future-seer before her change, but as you know, she can't remember her past so well. But her gift was weaker than in vampire form,."

"I think I have a gift," I blurted out.

"What? What kind of gift?" He asked semi-shocked.

I decided to show him. I showed my mother once, she told me never to show anyone ever again. She told me I could get into trouble for showing someone. Every morning before school, she reminded me not to show a soul. So, I obeyed the rules. Until now. I flipped Jasper's hands so they were palms up and put my hands on top of his. I concentrated very hard, trying to get the image out. It took a lot of energy to transfer a simple image from my mind, and it was even harder to transfer memories. Sometimes my mother let me practice on her, for she was the only one allowed to witness it. I chose a picture of my mother and me. It was one of our days on the beach.

When I heard Jasper gasp, I knew it had worked. I let out a gust of air, and caught my breath from the extreme labor it had taken to produce the image. I used to be able to do that easily, the only hard things to produce were complete memories, but I hadn't practiced in well over a year. It had been so long since I had done that.

"I knew there was something about you.." He trailed, then put his hand against my chest.

"What are you _doing?" _I asked, mortified.

"I'm sorry, I just, I have to go," He stuttered, "Carlisle! I need to talk to you!" He yelled, racing up to Carlisle's office. I was still sitting there, dumbfounded on the couch.

"So you have a gift, do you?" A feminine voice drawled from behind me. Rosalie.

_**Sorry for not updating yesterday… I was really busy. Oh well, you guys are forgiving right? Okay well The next chapter will be up soon, hopefully. **_


	9. 8 Rush

_**What will happen next? Let's see…**_

"Hello," I looked up at the beautiful supermodel- type girl.

"They're talking about you, you know," She motioned upstairs where Jasper and Carlisle were.

"Yeah, I figured they were, anyways," I sighed.

"They're still keeping things from you. Important things."

"What?"

"They aren't telling you something…" She sat down next to me. What weren't they telling me? I mean, I already knew their big secret, what more was there?

"Will you tell me?" I asked

"I can't, sorry. But if you want to find out for yourself, you can just ask your mother when she gets back…"

"My mother? What does she have to do with it?" I asked.

"Everything."

"Oh. Ok?" I wasn't really sure how to reply.

"I can give you a hint though," She eyed me.

"Well?"

"Your heartbeat is… abnormal. If that means anything," She said, but I shook my head.

"Give me another clue. Please, I want to know," I begged.

"Okay… Can you run for me? Like, as fast as you can?" I stared at her.

She wanted me to _run?_ Why? I had an odd history with running. My mother pulled me out of gym every year, with some fake excuse, so I'd never actually run the miles. I'd always wanted to be on the track team, but because I didn't participate in gym, I wasn't allowed to join. My mother's excuse was always 'she didn't want me to get hurt' when I asked her why I couldn't play kickball with the other kids. Sometimes I snuck out to run in the morning, but my mother caught me leaving one morning and I never did it again. So now, after years of having 'no running' drilled into my head, I was about to for pretty much a complete stranger. Well, I already broke the 'no showing people the images' rule, I might as well break this one.

So I ran. Fast. I ran out the door, and through the woods. Rosalie followed swiftly, matching my pace easily. I looked to my left and jolted to a stop in surprise. The trees were whizzing by so fast, I almost didn't believe it. I stopped so fast that I fell over onto the ground.

"Good," Rosalie said, "That's all I needed."

_**I'm sorry it's so short! But that seemed like a good place to end the chapter and my computer is dying! **_


	10. 9 Snap Desicion

_**So my computer is having major problems so it's been like a month… but I'm not ending the story! **_

I was exhausted. Today had been the longest day of my life. I searched around the guest room, now known as my room, and finally found my pajamas. Slipping them on, I hurried through getting ready, eager to let the relief of sleep take over. But sleep did not come easy. I tossed and turned, as I normally did, only this time the restlessness was a burden. My mother never gave me a bedtime or curfew. She always told me to go to sleep when I was tired. I guess that would have to do with the fact that I can sleep for a half an hour and wake up as refreshed as if I'd slept for twelve. The doctor called it insomnia, but my mother just shook her head.

So here I was, tossing and turning, unable to catch a wink. So instead, I just laid there. That was when the conversation started. From outside the door, I could hear the family members and Jake talking.

"Is he asleep?" one of the boys, who must've been Emmet for I didn't know the voice said.

"No, but he can't hear us." Carlisle whispered.

"I'm not so sure…" Rosalie trailed "He probably can."

"We don't know that yet!" Jasper hissed.

"Don't know what? That he can hear?" Jake asked, confused.

"No, mutt! If he has the ability to hear… the only way he could hear us is if-"

"That's enough, Rosalie!" The voice I knew as Esme snapped.

"Jazz, can you put him to sleep?" Alice asked.

"It won't work completely… he might get tired but I'm not sure if I can force him to actually fall asleep…" Jasper said in an apologizing voice.

"Whatever, if he hears us, he hears us." Emmet huffed.

"Which he can." Rosalie muttered.

"Rose, we can't possibly tell who or what he is, we've only known him for less than a day." Esme murmured.

"What is there to see? He ran, he ran way too fast for a human. And he has a gift! His pulse is irregular, Even his scent is wrong!" She defended. What the heck? Were they saying I wasn't a _human?_

"Rosie…" Emmett started, "We can't say or do things irrationally. If we screw up and tell him too much…"

"That is exactly what Alice did!"

"Don't try to pin this on me! He had a right to know!"

"He also had a right to know that he's a fu-"

"Rosalie! Language!" Carlisle yelled.

"I think we should talk about this later. When Edward gets here," Alice piped in quietly.

"Yeah, especially if Edward's… more involved than we thought," Jasper said. There were murmurs of agreement.

"Well, I need him to get here sooner, then." Rosalie whined.

"How?" Jasper challenged.

"Send the jet!" She huffed in the most obvious tone.

"We can't just-"

"Yes. We can. I'll drive." And with that Rose was gone.


	11. 10 Brother Bear

_**Okay so I've been at camp for two weeks and then my computer broke down but you're about to get TWO chapters to make up for it! Sorry guys!** _

"Rose!" I heard Emmett yell, but there really wasn't a use. Rosalie had been long gone.

I was still lying in bed, but I had a feeling they knew I was listening. At this point, all I wanted was sleep…. But sleep wouldn't come. So I turned on my light and rummaged through my bag. I grabbed my teddy bear and hugged it tightly to my chest. I didn't know I was crying until my vision became blurred with tears and I couldn't see anymore. I sniffled, pulling the stuffed animal closer to my face.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked from behind me.

"I-I'm fine." I assured the large figure, as Emmett Cullen sat down next to me.

"Is that…?"

"Huh?"

"Your bear…"

"Oh yeah," I remembered that it was a gift from Emmett.

"If you want it back…"

"No, it was a gift to your mother. I'm not going to take it back. Why would I need a teddy bear?" he asked, though I could tell he was a little ticked about something.

"Are you okay?" I repeated his question to me

"Just swell." He said a bit sarcastically.

We sat in silence for a while and I was glad that, for once, someone came to sit with me and keep me company instead of only to get information from me. I liked the quietness of the moment, because if nobody talked, I wouldn't be able to learn any more gruesome facts about this family and my own. I missed that little circle of ignorance I lived in only days ago. I missed it deeply. I wondered where my mother was, and if she was okay or not. She was either dying or sad and in pain or perfectly fine. Either way, I needed her here more than ever. I heard a strange sound coming from Emmett, and when I turned around, I realized that the sound was the vampire version of…. Crying? Yes, Emmett was definitely crying. I sat there, unsure of what to do. I'd never actually seen a grown man cry before. Especially such a muscular, huge man. I debated leaving the room to let himself be alone, but eventually I just succumbed to my own tears. Again. I had been crying all night. I was so sick of crying, but I didn't know what else to do. I was helpless.

"Are you okay?" Emmett asked after a few moments. That question had been asked a lot tonight. So far, my answer had always been yes. But this time, my answer was no.

"No," I squeaked out, tears falling down my face. Emmett hugged me in his large arms and I didn't dare protest.

"Everything will be okay. We'll find her, I promise." He said it to me, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

"Emmett? What… happened?"

"Excuse me?"

"What happened… between your family and my mother?"

There was a moment of silence, and I could sense the tension building up within him.

"It was her eighteenth birthday… something went wrong. She was opening a present. It was so stupid that such a little paper cut could cause that much damage. Jasper couldn't control himself. He tried to attack her, so my brother pushed her out of the way. She went flying into a table, ceramic plates crashing everywhere. Edward wasn't really thinking about the amount of force he used to push her away. She was extremely lucky he didn't use more power than he did. If he hadn't been mildly controlled enough to be somewhat gentle- meaning he didn't break any bones not that he was actually gentle- she could have earned some serious damage like brain trauma… or death. It was good that the only physical harm was a few gashes along her arm. After that night... something inside of Edward snapped. He always knew we were dangerous for her to be around, but actually seeing a family member attack her, actually hurting her while trying to protect her, it was too much for him to handle. Without any decision on my part, or anyone's part, he decided we had to leave. He told us that it was the best thing for her. He had us convinced that if we left, she would be safe and she would return to the human world where she belonged, and she would move on. I was so convinced that she would move on and get married, have children and grandchildren, until eventually she would die an old woman. We all thought that, though none of us really wanted to leave our home behind. That was until Alice had the vision. It was our second day here, Edward was still in Forks, trying to find the courage to tell Bella that we'd all left. It must have been right after he'd told her goodbye. Alice saw her… I can't even describe it right. She was dead. Not literally, but she was empty. We killed her." By the end of his little speech, he was on the verge of (metaphorical) tears.

There were details I didn't understand about the story, but now was not the time to ask questions about it.

"You should go to bed now." He whispered.

"I know."

"I'll just be going now, I'm really sorry, you know."

"For what?"

"Everything." He breathed, before getting up and shutting the door behind him. I stared up at the dark ceiling. Sleep took me before I had the chance to start worrying again.

**_Good? Bad? _**


	12. 11 Meet your son, EJ

_**The chapter you've all been waiting for…**_

With the morning, came a fresh start. I knew everything. Well, I was pretty sure I knew everything. The first thing I didwhen I got up was go into the living room. It was the room conveniently located in front of the door, so that I could be the first to confront whoever walked through it. But hours passed, and no one came. _They're in Italy, _I reminded myself, _It has to be a ten hour ride. _Somehow, though, I figured they'd be her within five. Them. I wasn't exactly sure exactly who _they_ were. Rosalie, obviously… and maybe, just maybe, Edward too? And maybe even more? Friends of his? I didn't know.

I realized after six hours, that I would have to get up from the chair and eat something before my stomach burst. Nobody approached me today, probably sensing my horrible mood, so I passed everybody by. I didn't make eye contact with Esme when I entered the kitchen, she was too nice to me and I didn't want to upset her by saying the wrong thing. The food choice was minimal, but I managed to muster up some Munster cheese along with crackers. I ate quickly and silently. Everything was on edge today. Not only did nobody talk to me, they didn't talk to each other, either. It was nearly four o'clock when I heard a vehicle approach.

"You might want to go upstairs so we can talk to him." Carlisle advised me. I wanted to object, but thought better of it. Carlisle was always right.

I listened through the door of somebody's bedroom, not really caring enough about it to look behind me and have to guess whose it was. I could almost imagine the casual every-day act the family was putting on downstairs for when their son came in and I let out an ironic laugh. Of course he would see right through it, especially with him being a mind reader and all. They were probably blocking all of their thoughts on me and Jacob… wait where was Jacob? I shuddered. Jacob was slightly more breakable than a Cullen… What if things turned bad down there? Who was I kidding, they were family. I don't think any serious damage could be done over this. They weren't about to break up a hundred year old family over a stupid kid and his mother.

It seemed like hours had passed when I finally heard the door open. My heartbeat sped up. Rosalie was the first to talk.

"Welcome home, Edward." She said, as the others muttered their welcomes in agreement.

"Thank you," The unfamiliar voice spoke. My body filled with anger. His voice sounded dead, "Now, if you would be so kind as to explain to me why the hell I'm here!" Obviously Rose hadn't told him very much about the situation. I wondered if he even knew I was here. There was a moment of silence. I could feel the anger build inside of him, and I knew jasper was projecting his feelings to me, because I wasn't there to read the expressions. Suddenly, the anger turned into confusion.

"Why is Jacob Black here?" He asked, and I realized that Jacob must have been out on a run… only to come back to this. "And… Why…Why can I smell… is _she _here?" I raised my eyebrows. I expected him to be angry, but the way he said 'she' wasn't angry, it was painful. Like a whimpering puppy who got kicked in the stomach by his owner. "Well?" He asked breathlessly.

"No. But… a relative of hers is." Alice answered.

"What do you mean 'a relative' it sure as hell doesn't smell anything like Charlie."

"EJ?" Alice called in panic "Do you want to come down here to explain?"

I froze. No. I did not want to go down there. No, I did not want to see him. No, I did not want to explain my existence yet again to a total stranger. But no matter what I _wanted_ I knew I had to go down there. I slowly opened the door and made my way down the stairs. Each step seemed like a mile, and I put my head down and studied them each very carefully. When I reached the bottom of the staircase I kept my head down and shuffled to stand next to Alice. When I picked my head up, I was staring into the eyes of Edward Cullen. I gulped. His eyes had this intensity to them that was so passionate, I didn't know what to do. It froze me in my spot. But that wasn't the scariest feature. The terrifying part was the similarity. The hair. The bone structure. The nose. The ears. They were _mine. _Apart from the eyes, we were the same. The blurry yearbook picture had not captured the exact shade of his hair or the shape of his facial features that were so much like mine.

"Alice?" I gasped.

"Yes?"

"You didn't tell me about this." I accused breathlessly.

"I know. Sorry, I wasn't allowed." She shrugged guiltily.

We stared at each other, our eyes wide as saucers. We did not speak. No one did. Speaking wasn't necessary. We both knew what was going on, but we couldn't bear to say it out loud. It was the unspoken rule that we couldn't say it. I followed that rule.

"Alice?" Edward asked this time.

"Yes?" Was her reply again.

"Do you care to explain, please?"

"Of course." She responded, "Edward, meet your son, EJ."

_**Hehehe, sorry for the cliffy but I just had to! And I know it took me wayyyy too long to update, and I know I apologize for that every time I post up a chapter, but my computer isn't working so this chapter had been on my computer forever! **_


	13. 12 What Matters Most

_**Third chapter of the week im so proud of myself!not that its that much of an accomplishment… Lol ok guys just read and ignore my stupidness. **_

_**Me: YES I finally own twilight!**_

_**Edward: Um… no. **_

_**Me: Um YES!**_

_**Edward: No… SM does!**_

_**Me: Then can I own you?**_

_**Edward:…**_

_**Me:…**_

_**Edward: *to the readers* how about you guys just read and forget you wasted your time on Ashley's boredom writing…**_

_**Readers: OKAY!**_

_**Me: so... Is that a no then, Edward?**_

_**Edward:… Um I'm sorry… I'm late to dinner! *runs away***_

_**Me: BUT YOU DON'T EVEN EAT DINNER! **_

_**Okay, sorry about that, just read…**_

"His _What?" _ I yelled.

"EJ… You're his son, not Mikes." How could she be so calm about this?

"Alice, that's not possible!" Edward yelled frantically "We can't have children… "

"No _Rose and I _are the ones who can't have children. You certainly can. Think about it, Edward! I can't have a baby because I can't change and grow. Men don't need to grow or adapt to have a child! And Bella was certainly capable of changing. Carlisle, jasper and I worked on this all night, trying to think of any other explanations for his habits… We can't find any. It's the only logical explanation. I mean, the only possible way to figure this out is to talk to her. She has to know something we don't—" I cut her off.

"I can't be his son. I'm Mike's son. My mother would never lie to me about something like that!"

"She might, if it were for your own good." Carlisle interjected softly.

"Where is she?" Edward growled suddenly. "Where is Bella?"

"I don't know." I spat at him. "And if I did I wouldn't tell _you _anything. I won't let you hurt her!" I screamed.

"I would never hurt her." He whispered. "Never." He was obviously shocked and confused by my words. Didn't he know how much damage he did?

"Wait…. I can't…" He was at a loss for words. "I can't read your mind."

"I figured as much." I snorted, coming down from my shock, starting to remember my anger towards him.

"Why are you being like that?" Esme gasped at my sudden rudeness.

"I'm sorry I just… I can't do this." I was embarrassed by my childish actions, so I left. I just got up and walked out the door.

The second my foot stepped onto the porch,

I expected someone to stop me, but nobody came. I didn't go far, only to the forest lining. It was just close enough to hear muffled sound of the family screaming at each other. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could hear the anger and regret in their voices. I expected the familiar tears to be running down my cheeks, but I found that I was all cried out. I had nothing left in me. So I just sat there. I sat on the wet grass, staring down, trying to focus on the beads of dew dripping from the green blades. I sat there for some time, and the argument was still going on inside. I was pretty sure they started throwing things. This made me curious, so I hedged closer to the house I'd just eagerly ran from. I snuck under the window, crouched down so that they couldn't see me. Unfortunately, that meant I couldn't see them either.

"You asshole!" Rosalie yelled.

"Please, Rosalie, settle down! We are all angry here but you can't-"

"I can't what, Carlisle? I can't give my brother advice? I can't stop him from making mistakes? I can't let him know how stupid he is? Because none of us did that before, and none of you are doing it now! Believe it or not, I'm trying to _help _him! Can't any of you listen to me?" She was becoming frantic "He screwed up my life! He screwed up all of our lives! How can you look at him and be okay with what he did? I don't give a shit whether he's family or not! He made a horrible mistake, and dragged the rest of us into his own misery! It's _his_ fault we left, it's _his_ fault Bella's missing, and it's _his_ fault she got depressed! It's his entire fault! And none of you are doing anything about it! So don't tell me what I can't do, Carlisle. I will do what I think is right. And you won't stop me. Because I am doing this for the good of our family and you won't support me. But when Edward decided it was right to pick up and leave our home behind, our life behind, and leave a _family member_ behind, you wholeheartedly supported and trusted in his decision. It was the wrong thing to do and I _will_ make it right."

"You _Bitch!"_ Alice yelled, causing me to flinch, "Nobody supported his decision, Rosalie! If I remember correctly, _I _was the one who gave a three hour speech to him about why it was a bad idea, I was the one who cut the cables in all of our cars delaying our departure, and I was the one who smashed the piano in rebellion. Not you. So you have no right to talk to me, or anyone in this room about not disagreeing. And when you say we left a family member behind, which we sure as hell did, I think you forgot that all you cared about was the house. You _never_ liked Bella. And to hear you use the fact that she was family in your argument like she was your best friend hurts. Because she was _my_ best friend, and you just said that to help your argument. Don't you know how much we loved her?! I never wanted to leave! Never!" I could hear the tears in her voice, the tears that would never spill. I felt sick.

"How dare you call me a-" Rosalie was about to snap back when Edward cut her off.

"She's right Rose. I may have screwed everything up, but I did it out of love. I'm not sure if you're capable of sacrifice for love!"

"I would do anything for Emmet!"

"Really? So if someone told you that you could become human again, but you'd have to give up Emmett, you would stay a vampire?"

"That's different." She whispered desperately.

"Rose?" Emmett asked, extremely hurt.

"I love you so much Emmett, but-"

"Save it. I understand. A husband to grow old with, children and grandchildren, that's nothing compared to me. I guess I just hoped that you loved me as much as I loved you." I decided to peek through the window, only to see Big old Emmett in partial tears again, Rosalie sobbing right along with him.

"I do. I do love you. Just as much, I swear! You know how much I want kids. But if it helps I only want them with you."

"I know Rosie, I didn't mean it, and I was just hurt. Today has been emotional. Maybe we should just take a break from this conversation and let everybody cool off. We'll discuss everything later. If we want to." He suggested

"I wish we could, Em, but this isn't something we can just walk away from and get back to later. This is something we should've talked about a long time ago, and I don't think postponing it would be healthy for anyone. Especially since Bella needs us." Jasper warned.

The room seemed to freeze. Jasper paused, as if discovering something he said was terribly wrong.

"Why does Bella need us?" Edward growled cautiously.

No answer.

"I asked a question. Why. Does. Bella. Need Us?"

"Edward… I think you should sit down… You might not handle this very well."

"Just tell me, dammit!" he yelled.

"She's missing." Alice whispered softly. "That's why EJ came here. He got a letter from her, telling him to look for us. She said she was okay, but that might've been for his sake. No one's heard from her in nearly a week."

"Can't you see her?" He asked desperately.

"That might be difficult after you literally trained me to block her out completely." She snapped.

"I'm sorry! I just didn't think it was right to be spying on her!"

"She _wanted_ me to see her, remember? She wrote me letters and stepped back from them so that if I saw here writing it, I could read it clearly!"

"That doesn't matter now." He sighed painfully.

"Then what does matter, Edward?" Alice asked coldly, "I'll tell you what I think matters. You're son. He matters. You're mistakes. They matter too. What about Bella? I sure as hell think she matters, but apparently all that matters is you. You didn't give her a chance. You told her how it was going to be and what she was going to do. She didn't have an option. Maybe if you had talked to her we wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe, if just for one second, you considered how she would take it, how _she _would deal with it. You didn't think like her, Edward, you thought like you. And it sounds ridiculous, but I thought you knew her well enough to imagine her _actual_ reaction. She's stubborn, Edward! She wasn't going to give you up! But instead of thinking like her and figuring it out, you just decided how things were going to be and didn't give her two second to ask why. You didn't care enough abou-"

"I loved her, Alice." He whispered, cutting her off. There was silence, followed by a round of his sobs.

"I still do." His words were agonizing, just barely a whisper now. I had to strain to hear him. "You don't understand, Alice. I love her so much, that I was willing to put myself through pain to help her move on. So that things could be better for her."

"That's just the thing." Somebody said, and I spun around wide-eyed "it didn't make it better."

No, it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. I wasn't sure if she saw me… her back was turned away from me, as she stood in the doorway, looking in on the people inside. I couldn't contain it anymore. I ran to her, jumping on her back, wrapping my arms around her torso.

"Mom!"

_**Heh, so… Another Cliff hanger, sorry….. I was actually going to end it with Alice saying Bella's line (**__That's just the thing, it didn't make it better__**) but then the thought to throw Bella in there popped in my head and I couldn't get it out so, yeah! Hope you liked it! **_


	14. 13 Miracles

_**Okay, so I know I keep leaving you guys hanging, but you always find out eventually! Bella's back, and more badass than ever…**_

"Oh, Baby, I missed you so much!" She cried, holding me in her arms as I sobbed.

"I missed you too, mommy." I whispered into her shoulder.

We stood stayed like that for a while, crouched down on the floor, hugging and crying. She started kissing my head and shoulders and any part of me she could reach without breaking our embrace. Eventually she stood up, and carried me to the couch. There was an awkward silence, and I remembered the seven other people in the room. But even with the awkwardness, I was content. She was here again. She was okay. I finally looked up at her face for the first time, at what I saw shocked me.

"Mom…" I gasped.

"What's wrong, honey?" She asked concerned.

"What happened to you?" I asked, frightened.

"Well, that's something we need to talk about. I know, it's a shock baby, but in a way, it's what I've always wanted."

Once again, the air was filled with silence. Nobody spoke, but Alice slowly approached us. There were no words said between my mother and her friend, but the look that passed between them was so intense, I knew they were doing all the talking they needed. And then Alice hugged her. The silence wasn't so awkward, as each Cullen came up and hugged her, not a word uttered. Each family member came up… but one. Edward. He only sat there, staring at her. I don't think it had gotten through his head that she was here yet. It was a lot for him to take in during the course of twenty-four hours. I felt bad for him. First, his sister shows up, telling him to come home immediately because of an emergency, then his other sister tells him he had a son with the woman he left six years ago, then he gets interrogated and yelled at by his family, then the love of his life that he hasn't seen in years comes back to visit him. Yeah, I'm not sure I'd believe it either.

The whole family was staring at him. All of us were. All eight, as if we expected staring at him would unfreeze him from his shocked state. Of course, it didn't. He sat there, unmoving. He didn't even blink, and I don't think he was breathing either. You could see the guilt and sorrow on his face. Yet there was a strange sense of happiness on it too. It was such a bittersweet moment, and he couldn't decide whether to be happy or upset. His mouth opened, as if to say something, but he quickly closed it. He kept opening and closing his mouth, starting to come out of his shock. We were all trying to find the right words. I don't think there were any.

"I think we should give them a moment…" Esme whispered.

"Should I stay?" I asked.

"Yes… you most definitely should stay." Alice said strictly, in a way we all knew that she had seen things would go better with me in the room.

I nodded, and the rest of them left. There was just the three of us, now.

"Please say something." She begged.

"What do you want me to say?"

"That you forgive me."

"_Your fault_? Bella-" he cut himself off with a new sentence, "This conversation is starting to sound awfully familiar." He stated (A/N I took that convo from New Moon BTW)

"Yeah, it is…" she laughed humorlessly

"But really, it's not your fault. If anything it's mine. I should've never done what I did. It was a mistake. And obviously no use, since the point was for you to have a happy human life," he motioned to her vampric body. Yes, Bella swan was now one of them.

"You're damn right it was a mistake!" She growled at him. I flinched. Never once had I heard my mother speak with such emotion. It was like she's transformed into something more than an immortal. Just being here altered her emotions. And that made me surprisingly happy. She no longer looked dead to the world, but fierce and aware. Edward, too, was taken aback by her anger.

"Do you know how much I went through? I raised our kid all alone. I spent the rest of my teenage years unhappy and unloved! The only person that loved me was EJ… My own father practically disowned me! All of my friends abandoned me and I was suicidal for weeks before realized I was pregnant! Only then did I stop trying to hurt myself. Because no matter how much my life sucked, I had to be there for him. It wasn't fair to hurt him too. And I tried to be strong and motherly to him, but it was hard! Because I was a single teenage mother working at a shoe store, bringing him to a daycare that I could barely afford with my job at a shoe store! I gave up college. I wanted to give him the life he deserved. It wasn't his fault that his mother couldn't raise him properly! The only thing that kept me from putting him up for adoption and giving him a loving family was the fact that he was probably immortal and more powerful than every human on earth! He probably could've done a better job raising himself than I could! I was the adult, but he didn't need me, I needed him. I needed him like I needed air. And I knew that if he ever decided that he was sick of his deadbeat mother, and went to live with Charlie, I would not be able to carry on. And so, I became obsessed. I couldn't bear for him to leave, too. So, I searched for you, trying to find you. But you didn't want to be found. But I never gave up. I knew you didn't love me, but I hoped that you would love him. Love him enough to help us." Her anger slowly dissolved into despair and she began sobbing.

"Please don't cry, mom." I whispered, knowing it was no use.

Edward sat there, stunned, unsure what to do. Finally, he stood up, and walked towards us. He turned to my mother, kneeling in front of her on the floor. She looked down on him from the couch and there was another unspoken conversation. They weren't talking, yet everything that needed to be said was.

"I am so sorry." He whispered. "And just so you know, I love you."

"I forgive you." She looked him dead in the eye. "And just so you know, I love you too."

I wanted to look away, and give them privacy, but I'd never seen my mother so happy in my life, and it couldn't detach my eyes from her. It was an absolute miracle. I decided maybe Edward Cullen wasn't that bad.

Edward Cullen. My dad. So what was I supposed to call him? Dad? Daddy? Edward? I had no clue; it didn't need to be discussed now anyways.

I watched as my… _father_ whispered something in her ear. She whispered something back, and I smiled. She was happy. _Happy. _Then I heard something… I didn't believe my ears. What I hears was… laughter? Her laugh? Yes, she was laughing. And the laughter was genuine and so amazing, it filled my ears. Maybe miracles really did happen.

_**There you go! This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write… I'm actually in my car right now, and I spent a large part of the eight hour car ride writing this and a few other things on my laptop in the back of my minivan. So, I really hope you liked it! It's what kept me entertained. Unfortunately I can't post it until I get wifi which is two days (at least) away! But I guess that will give me more editing time!**_


	15. 14 a drabble on her Gift

_**This is really short and pointless but I just wanted to put it out there! Read on if you dare….**_

Five days. Five days of love. Five days of fights. Five days of change. I hated this. Yes, five days were too long to wait for things to go back to normal. But what was normal? Was this the new normal? I had so many questions to ask, but so did everyone else. When we tried to ask my mom about what happened, she simply shrugged and told us it was in the past. But not everybody liked her answer. Emmett once confronted her about it, angry that she wouldn't tell him, but it didn't end well. Mom broke down in sobs when he yelled at her which resulted in dad throwing a few punches. Yeah, I decided to call him dad. Then Rosalie started getting defensive so mom got defensive and Carlisle got involved, so Esme got involved… Jasper couldn't handle the anger in the room and punched a hole in the wall of his bedroom which got Alice upset… And all the while I just sat there. Thankfully the noise made when jasper broke the house was loud enough for people to wonder what it wad and stop the fighting long enough for Carlisle to get a peaceful word in and the fight stopped all together. After that nobody questioned anybody. It was better that way. And yet, it was worse too. Because I wanted to know what happened to my mother. I wanted to know more about why he left. I knew they talked when I went to sleep at night, because I often woke up because of yelling or crying or laughing. I usually ignored it and tried to go back to sleep.

Today was different though. Today, there was a new feeling in the air. Something was strange about my mom and dad. Something about how they were acting scared me. They weren't fighting, and they weren't upset… it was just the… the vibes I was getting. It wasn't an awkward feeling and it wasn't a bad or sick or sad feeling. It was just a… _strange_ feeling. Like I missed something major happening. Everybody else felt it too. It was that indescribable feeling of change. And I was sick of change. The room was completely silent. They kept looking at each other and smiling. I knew everyone was shooting questions at Edward mentally, but He wasn't answering any of them. My mother received looks from her family, but she stayed quiet too. The silence was intensified by every tick of the clock. I couldn't take it anymore.

"What's going on?" I screamed.

And they started laughing. _Laughing. _

"Why are you laughing at me?" I asked, while they tried to calm themselves.

My mother looked at him and he nodded.

"Last night… Edward and I were in his room and something… happened."

"What?" Alice pressed, a grin spreading across her face.

"She was looking at a cd and she asked a question. I answered it."

"So what?" Emmet scoffed.

"She didn't actually ask it. And I didn't exactly answer it either."

"Will you cut the crap and just tell us?" Jasper rolled his eyes.

"I found a gift." My mom started cautiously

"Let me guess," I started, "You can read minds too?"

"Um, not exactly…"

"Bella, just tell them already!" Alice laughed.

"No. I want to show them. Ali, will you be my model?"

"Of course." She smiled.

"Ok, jazz, can you come here?"

She put her hand on his shoulder and she smiled.

"Alice, do you think you can get really sad?"

"I don't know…"

"Hold on…"

Mom came back with Alice's favorite sweater and a pair of scissors.

"No!"

But my mom had already cut both the sleeves off. Aunt Ali was depressed immediately. Mom had her hand back on Jasper's shoulder in a second and suddenly, I was sad. I felt betrayed and angry. My mother's hand flew off of Jasper and the gloominess disappeared.

"Relax, Alice. I'll sew it back on later." And Alice was calmed by the thought.

"Now… Edward. Come here."

She did the same placing her hand on his shoulder and one by one, read everybody's thoughts in the room. She touched Alice and predicted rain tomorrow. It was amazing.

_**Okay. So this isn't the chapter I wanted to post today, but the idea popped in my head. I know it's short and mostly dialogue but I just wanted to put it out there that Bella has a gift. This is literally just a random day after the last chapter**_


	16. 15 The Truth Comes Out

_**So… the last chapter was suuupppeeerrr short so this one will probably be really long to make up for that!**_

It was disgusting. Utterly revolting how they acted. Ever since my mother had cam her and dad were just ridiculously lovey-dovey. Edward started calling me 'Buddy' and I'd gotten in the habit of using 'dad' and 'daddy'. They always walked around holding hands and whenever anybody went huning, they had to be in the same group. When Emmett had suggested a 'guys night away' dad nearly killed him. They were inseparable to the extreme .More attached than conjoined twins. They'd done enough kissing to last two lifetimes and were talking about marriage. _Marriage. _I mean, yeah, they had a son together, but in all honesty they'd spent a week together after years apart. They never fought and when they weren't in the same room… who am I kidding? They were _always _in the same room. I don't think my mom has ever smiled so much in her life.

The living arrangements were pretty strange, since Mom came too. She wanted to be in the same room as me, but couldn't be detached from her boyfriend. I wanted to be with my mom, but I also knew they were aching for some alone time. Jake ended up in the guest room alone, and the three of us shared Edward's room. Mom and dad spent the night in the finished basement sometimes though. Lord only knows what they did down there. So they spent some nights upstairs and some nights downstairs and rarely even went to join the rest of the non-sleeping family for 'nightly activities'.

My mother was extraordinarily good at keeping control. She had come across a hiker while on a hunt and managed to run away. From what I've heard, that should've been impossible. Carlisle's theory is that her gift not only obtains other gifts, but all abilities and strengths around her. Because she was hunting with Dad and Carlisle, her control was exceptional. He thinks that if she practices hunting with them, that she'll learn strength on her own much easier.

Her gift is progressing too. In only a matter of days, she's learned to focus it on one person individual or affect everyone within a mile's radius. She doesn't have to use her hands to use someone's power either. She's been learning over the phone with a vampire Zafraina how to use her mind-block to her advantage too. She can take it off if she concentrates hard enough. She's been working on blocking others too. The other day, Carlisle explained to me who the Volturi are. I'm terrified. If they found out how powerful my mom is… Things would get very bad, very fast.

I was just starting to Enjoy it here, too. But we had to move. Fast. We were packing up our things carefully, when Alice stopped.

"Bella?" She asked blindly, in an off tone.

"Yes?" She replied, rushing to my aunt's side.

"I need to know. Now." Aunt Alice demanded, looking up at my mother.

"know? Know what?" My mom asked, thoroughly confused.

"We need to have a family meeting. I've been getting these visions of you… I've been letting it slide, but I really need to know where the hell you were last month when you left EJ to find us alone. I didn't want to pressure you… we finally got you back… but now's the time."

"Alice-"

"Please, Bella. I'm begging you. I can't see this anymore. We've all been wondering about it and… and I'm worried about you. Really worried."

"Fine," She huffed, "Family meeting downstairs in five."

Five minutes of curiosity so strong it dominated the room in a thick cloud. Or that coul've just been jasper. We all sat in our normal spots on the couch, waiting. When mom finally came down, she was a mess. I couldn't even describe it. It was the way she looked before. The half-dead, unemotional Bella that quite honestly scared me. Dad went up to hug her, but she pushed him away lightly.

"Please," She whispered "Edward, EJ, just go. I-I can't tell you this, you can't know. You won't think of me the same way ever again… I need you to leave… please." She was begging. Part of me didn't want to know. I didn't want to know what was so deeply disturbing that she couldn't tell her more-than-a-boyfriend and son. If it was that bad, I didn't want to know. But a much stronger part of me had to know. I had to know because I loved her too much to be cut out of that part of her life. I couldn't be so out of the loop when everyone else was comforting her. I had to be there. By the way dad was looking, he felt the same way I did.

"No, I think I'll stick around for this." He said, unsure of what to come. We were all assuming the worst.

"Fine. But… You can't be angry at me… you can't be angry at all. I'm so grateful… I just need you to understand how bad things were…"

"Bella, you don't have to-" Rosalie started, but Mom cut her off.

"No, I really do, Rose."

She nodded, and mom continued.

"It was a really bad time for me. I was so afraid. I thought we were going to lose our house. My dad wouldn't help me and my mother had just passed away. I was a single mom trying to raise an unaware immortal child, no matter how weird that sounds, it was true. I realized as he grew up that he needed to learn to hunt, but I couldn't exactly drop the bomb on him that he was half-vampire. I had problems believing it myself… I think this would work better if I started from the beginning."

She took a deep breath. We all sat on edge, waiting for her to continue. I was terrified of what might happen. There were so many things She probably never told me. I didn't even know about our money issues. Until now, I thought our house was paid off.

"It started four nights after… you left." She grimaced, "I was in shock and my dad wanted me to get out of the house. I hadn't come out of my room in days and he was extremely worried. He was positive that if I went out and socialized, that maybe I would become myself again. Maybe I would talk and eat and be happy again. He didn't know… That I was doing… bad things. I can't go into details… I can't tell you how bad it was or you'll hospitalize me, but it was bad."

Dad flinched as he, no doubt, obtained images of visions from Alice. I could only imagine what my mother did to herself.

"He forced me out of the house, begging me to go really anywhere with anyone. So I showed up at Angela's doorstep. Jessica was there, and she was trying to get her to come to some party at Mike Newton's house. I didn't really want to go… But I couldn't show up back home without a lecture and No doubt everyone would be at the party so I didn't really have anywhere to go.

"It was loud, obnoxious and illegal to say the least. There was practically every teenager in town, plus some of the adults, drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. I sat in back with Angela for a while, begging to go home, but my house was too far away to walk and we couldn't leave Jess therefor the night and go home. She was so wasted. She kept pulling us up to dance and eventually, Angela left to take her home. She said she would come back to drive me home too- she didn't want me in the car because Jessica would've no doubt vomited on me- and I just sat there.

But because I was alone, guys started to jump at me. They were harassing me and it was down-right horrible. I thought they were going to rape me. Mike grabbed me and pulled me out of there, but told me my safety was going to cost me. He forced at least four shots down me. He told me that He wanted me. I keep blacking out there. I'll never know what really happened, but I woke up on his couch. He told me that we'd been intimate. He told the whole school about it. He bragged to his friends about how he got the oh-so-classy Bella into bed. He said that I was probably just a slut. I got tagged as 'Easy' and had guys calling me and coming up to me asking when I could come over for some action." My mother had resulted in those strange vampire half-tears. Dad tried to hold her, but she pushed him away.

"For all I knew, I was a slut. I'd slept with more guys than I'd dated. Which didn't mean much since Edward was my only boyfriend ever. And even though you left… I felt like I was cheating on him. When I found out I was pregnant, I Felt so dirty. I had no clue how to tell my dad, or mike, and the town was so small gossip flew. I wanted Mike to take responsibility for the baby, but I knew he wouldn't . I talked to him first… but he told me it wasn't his.

I didn't believe him at first, the only other person I'd been with was a vampire. I told him it had to be his. He just argued it wasn't until he let it slip. We'd never actually had sex. I passed out after six shots and he was afraid to call 911 and get arrested because of his party. He put me on the couch after everybody left and once he knew I was okay, he figured he might as well have some fun and become the most popular kid in school while he was at it. He said I must've gotten lucky tat that party after all. At that point, I knew it had to be yours," She said, motioning to Dad, "I mean, who's else could it be? I told my dad, who was furious, and he told me that the only way I could stay here was if I got an abortion. He didn't want the news of the town to be **'Chief of Police's daughter gets pregnant at a high school party, Drinking and Illegal substances involved'** But I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill my baby. He was all I had left. So, Charlie helped me pack my bags instead. I tried going to school, but once the bump was evident, the name-calling started up again. Mike didn't want to take responsibility of 'knocking me up' so he admitted that nothing happened. Of course that started a whole new round of 'So who's the father?' eventually, I just dropped out.

I didn't have any friends anymore, and the only reason I stopped hurting myself was because I had to deliver my little boy. I planned on giving him up for adoption. When I went to the doctor though, they told me I couldn't get an ultra sound because of complications with the machine. On my next appointment they assigned me a new one, but what they didn't know was that the uterus was basically made of vampire skin to protect him. Of course, I couldn't tell them that. It was a good sign though, that they detected a heartbeat. Mostly because then they would think he'd died and have a still-birth delivery while he wasn't grown yet. I'm very lucky he was mostly human and much less vampire. I knew that if things worked out differently, and he was mostly vampire, I would've died giving birth. I searched things like that. Of course not many vampires had ever thought of having sex with a human, so there wasn't much, but I learned that the baby tended to claw open from the womb, potentially killing the birthmother. You can imagine my relief when he turned out more human than vampire." She shuttered, looking at me apologetically.

I understood. I would be afraid too, if there was a possible monster inside of me.

"Like I said, I was going to look at putting him up for adoption, but that changed when I looked at him for the first time. He looked so much like you." She sighed emotionally looking up at my father. "He was all I had left of you. The one thing you let me keep to remind myself of you. And it made me angry. It was so strange, but seeing him reminded me that if you'd known you had a son, you would've stayed. No matter if you loved me or not, you would've helped and been a part of his life. Maybe not for me, but I knew you weren't the same person Mike was. I knew you would help us, and if not us, then him. I said before that we were going to lose our house, and that was something you'd be able to help us with. No, I didn't expect you to let us move in, or for you to date me again, or for you to even visit us. I just wanted to hear your voice and for my son to grow up with a rich, handsome daddy instead of a broken bum of a mom.

So I tried everything. Every form of contact I knew you had- disconnected or not-I used. Phonecalls, texts, E-mails, IMs, Chatrooms, I facebooked you and googled you. I searched through school records and wrote down any and every piece of information I knew about you. I sent letters to every location I knew you'd ever lived by Edward's stories and memories. I dedicated my life trying to find you and tell you. I hoped I would be younger than twenty-five when I saw you so you would know who I was. Which I was, by the way. I'm only twenty three." She laughed nervously."

"Bella," Dad sighed, "You are not a slut. You are not a bad mother. I would never have left if I knew you were pregnant. You aren't a bum of a mother and I'm sure as hell not a wonderful father. Oh, and I love you." He whispered. Mom smiled softly but it didn't touch her eyes.

"That's really all I have to say." She mumbled, refusing to make eye-contact

"No, It's not." Alice sighed apologetically "We're grateful you told us all of that, but we need to know where you were when you got changed… who did it?"

We were all silent for a moment when someone spoke up.

"It was me."

Rosalie.

_**Heh, don't be mad, I had to put in another cliffhanger 'cause that's what I'm best at doing. Any suggestions or comments about this chapter? Feel free to REVIEW! YAY!**_


	17. 16 Lesson Learned

_**So I was wondering if people even read the authors notes… do you? Guess it doesn't matter since the whole point of this is the story… lol. **_

"What?" Everybody whirled around to face Rosalie. She sat there, unmoved by our shock.

"How did I not know about this?" Dad asked surprised and shocked that his mindreading powers had fallen through.

"Because I didn't want you to know." Rosalie snapped, "Well, actually it was her who didn't want you to know." She said, throwing my mother under the bus.

"You didn't want me to know?" He asked, all eyes turned back to her.

"I-I didn't want her to get in trouble." She stuttered, afraid he was angry at her.

"Why would she be in trouble?" Carlisle asked.

"Don't pretend you don't know." I mumbled. Everyone gaped at me, wondering how I dare say that.

"Of course you'd be angry at her!" I defended myself, "In your eyes she was just the weak human who wanted something she'd regret! Don't pretend that if Rose showed up with my mom immortal in all her glory and told you," I pointed at dad, "would be totally cool. You would be yelling and apologizing to mom that you ruined her life. The only reason you're so calm now is probably because I'm here!" I lost it then. I don't really know what came over me then. Their fake obliviousness angered me.

"If I was never born and she came home with my mother you probably would've left!" I yelled at my father "if you didn't know that I existed, if you still thought that… that…" I struggled to find the right words, but I came up empty And so I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Do you even love her? Because if you took us in because you felt bad for us, or you want to be noble and help the girl you got pregnant in high school and your son than I'm just going to leave. I bet you don't even want me! I bet you're only being nice! You want us out of your house! Don't pretend you love her to give me the illusion of one big happy family! If you don't love us we'll leave. I guess I better finish packing. I don't want your charity." I spat. But I watched as my words sank in, and I regretted opening my mouth in the first place. For that half a second where I hated my father again… I wanted to kill myself. Why was I so stupid?

Most of the family just sat there, shocked beyond belief. My mother and father however… My dad stared emotionless at the ground while my mother hyperventilated, pushing as far away from dad as she could. I just stood there.

"I am so sor-"

"Don't say it." Jacob muttered, "It will only make things worse."

My mother got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Dad asked, His head snapping up.

"Out." She whispered

"I'll come with you," He offered, well, more like demanded.

"No, I want to go alone." She said, her voice cracking. We all knew if she stepped out that door, she wouldn't come back.

"Please, Bella, I-"

"I get it really, I do. After all, you were just following your heart. It's okay you don't love me anymore. I let go of that a while ago. I just wish I hadn't fallen for it a second time. It's my fault really."

"Bella!" He shouted, appalled. I had knots in my stomach. I was going to throw up. This was my fault. "You can't be so stupid to believe-"

"Oh, so I'm stupid am I? Yeah, I guess I am." Her voice was cold now. "If I were smart I would've stayed the hell away from you since the beginning. I should've known that it wasn't going to last. I mean you were going to end up killing me anyways, right? I'm better off dead." She snapped. "Do it, Edward. Do it now."

"Bella-"

"No! Do it! I want your face to be the last one I see! You were right! Okay? You were so right, I don't want to be a f*cking vampire!" She was screaming, so desperate and sad, "Because now I'll never be able to die! I know you won't kill me! And that's all I want! To die! If I can't have you, I don't want anything else. Just kill me, Edward! If you want me to be happy, then kill me! I'm better off dead, that way I won't 'disturb you' anymore and you can go on with your life!" It scared me seeing he like this. She was utterly hysterical. She was crying and wailing, begging him to kill her. I covered my ears. I could feel jasper sending out waves of calmness, but it only made her angrier.

"Stop that!" She cried angrily, lunging for him. Dad restrained her, and she thrashed against his arms, kicking and screaming and continued to lash out. Dad ended up needing help from both Carlisle and Emmett to keep her from breaking his hold.

I started to cry. I'd never seen anything like it. It was like my words unlocked a key to an animal's cage. I broke her. The new and improved Bella crumbled because of what I'd said. I ruined everything.

"I-I'm s-sorry!" I wailed, covering my ears so that I wouldn't have to hear her screams. She was having a meltdown.

"Let's get you out of here." I heard a soft voice whisper. I looked up to see none other than Esme.

"No… I… Its all my fault…"

"It's nobody's fault. We this would've happened anyways, trust me." She said, picking me up.

"But it was my words that hurt them." I whispered brokenly.

"But whether it was said or not, she truly believed what you aid deep down. I don't think she's quite forgiven him for what he did yet. It's only been a few weeks and so much has changed… no wonder she's having a mental breakdown. I hope this is a lesson though," She chastised as we went out front. "you should think about others before you say things. The others that those words will effect."

_**Can you just picture it? The screaming and thrashing? I know it sounds a little dramatic that she just broke down like that but wouldn't you if you went through everything she did in the past few years and had to explain everything… then you were convinced that the father of you child never loved you… I would be even worse than Bella was!**_


	18. 17 Survival

_**BELLA POV! BELLA NOT EJ!**_

No words. None. I would have to make up a word for this mix of feelings. There were so man emotions taking a hold of my body. Embarrassment. I was embarrassed. I couldn't believe I did that. I was such an idiot. Sick. I felt so sick. If I could still throw up, I'd be lurched over a toilette right now. Despair. I could literally feel myself sinking into a deeper depression every minute. Anger. I was mad at myself for well, being selfish and rude. I hadn't taken the other's feelings in consideration. Which brought me to my strongest emotion: guilt. I was guilty. My son. My love. My family. They'd all suffered because I let myself slip. It was just too much. I told them everything. My entire past without them. Sure, I sugarcoated it for my son- leaving out most of the self-harm part- but that didn't stop the pain. Pain. Another emotion to add to the mix.

Edward was holding me now. That made me feel even worse. Because after I'd insulted him and his family and accused him of not loving his family, he still wanted to make me feel better. He was still there for me. I hadn't spoken for almost six hours. I stared at the wall, not wanting to look him in the eyes. I just stared blankly at the blue wall of our bedroom. My outburst lasted almost an entire day. Almost twenty-four hours of kicking and screaming and crying and begging. Begging for death. Maybe I really was an immortal annoyance. I sure as hell acted like one.

I knew he was crying. I didn't have to look over to know that my silence was eating away at him worse than my yelling was. Before he was scared. Now he was worried. I knew him well. When he was even slightly worried about anyone, it became all he could think about. I knew that even if I snapped out of it right now, he wouldn't be able to hunt for days after without feeling sick. The only thing was, I couldn't snap out of it. It just kept driving it in deeper and deeper. I was so selfish. He didn't want me to see his pain. He figured I was too far out of it to notice it, but I was never too spacious when it came to him. He was everything.

But I didn't do anything about it. I just stared at that damn wall. Because I'm a friggin idiot. I'm not really sure how much time had passed, but Edward suddenly shifted position. My head snapped up, but he didn't seem to notice. If he did, which he did, he was ignoring me. He was giving up. I watched as he awkwardly stood up and slowly walked out the door. I barely had the strength to stop him. But I did.

"Wait!" I called, and he turned around. "D-don't leave."

"Why not, Bella?" He asked. I think he meant for his words to be harsh, but they just sounded sad. "You won't talk to me if I stay, and apparently I'm the type of guy who leaves when things get hard, right?"

His words stung. I flinched. I deserved this.

"I'm not denying it, Bella. I agree with you. I'm an arrogant bastard. But you should know that I'm not a killer. I never even considered that you would think that. I told you about my past in confidence. I told you honestly about my struggle. Even with temptation, I wouldn't have hurt you. Ever. I'm so convinced of that. For you to throw that in my face…" He had to stop and take a deep breath. "I love you. I love you more than anything. And I really don't care if you think I'm a soulless monster. If you hate me for what I did to you, I understand. I get it, really. But I thought we were doing so well, Bella! I thought we were recovering and moving on!"

I didn't say a word.

"Wow. Silence. Figures." He scoffed, irritated now. He turned again ready to leave.

"Wait! We are! We are moving on!" I pleaded desperately, not liking where this was going.

"But we're not!" He yelled, but then became soft, "You're not. " He whispered.

"But I _can. _Just let me _try! _I love you so much! I don't want to lose you! You don't know what I've been through. It was hell. Hell and back. You gave me everything, but left me with nothing. Nothing but a son who I loved more than anything. He is so much like you. He's strong and smart. He'd do anything for his family. He's what kept me going, because I was sold that I'd never see you again. And when I did see you for the first time in three years, and grudge I held against you disappeared." I promised.

"Maybe that's what your mind says, because you were the happiest with me and your brain's job is to keep you active and happy. But your heart doesn't agree. And it's job is to protect you from being hurt. Your heart just wants you to know that I'm no good. And it's right. You should stay away from me. I'm no good for you Bella."

"Suddenly, I feel like I'm seventeen again." I sighed.

"No. If you were seventeen again, I would start over. I wouldn't mess up this time." He sighed. I knew he meant well, but something in that sentence struck a chord.

"A-are you calling our son a… _mistake?" _I hissed, not believing my own ears.

"What? No! I love our son! Like you said, he is a part of me and a part of you. " He said fiercely.

"Then what did you mean, messed up?" I said a little too harshly.

"I mean," I said almost irritably, "I wish I would've stuck around. I wish I would've somehow known you were pregnant and stayed. I wish I could've been there to help raise our son, I wish I didn't screw up our chances even more by being such an ass to you in the forest. If I could do it all over again, I would've waited to have sex. I love our son, but it was too soon. I would never give him up, but I would… delay his conceiving to after we were married, or after we were at least out of high school." Hestarted to whisper at the end.

"No," I shook my head, "If we had waited… If things hadn't been exactly the way they were… He could turn out to be more vampire than human. I spent a lot of time researching it, Edward. There was hardly anything since it was so rare, but from what I knew, all of the past mothers had died. He almost killed me in the delivery room… and the doctors had to perform a C section to keep him alive, but I was very luck he was mostly human. If he had been just a fraction more vampire… God, I can't go into detail… You'll be upset." I looked down.

"Please," He pleaded "Just tell me. What would've happened?"

"I would've died. The babies, they tend to rip their way out. When they're too big, normal babies aren't strong enough to physically make their own way out so they leave through the first open space they can find. It's the easiest way for them. But for an immortal, it's much easier to just claw their way out. Because they couldn't possibly know any better than to do what's best and effortless, they simply tear their own mother apart." I looked down at my wrists. Unfortunately, so did he.

"Bella?" He gasped, grabbing my arm, and pulling my sleeve all the way up. We both knew what he would find. "No," He whispered, gut-wrenchingly pained.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered.

"Why? Did I do this to you?" He was crying now, wiling tears to spill over, knowing they never would.

"No… I just… It was too hard. I was a teenage mom with a child who needed more than I could provide! My family wouldn't support me and the only person to lean back on was a young werewolf… I knew that if I hung out with Jake too much I could get hurt…"

"But you didn't think cutting yourself would?"

"Edward, It's not like that!"

"Really?" he said in almost a mocking tone, "Then what is it like?" I was angry again.

"It was like coming home from work at a degrading job everyday watching your own son grow up not being able to have all the things he deserved. We were lucky to have dinner some nights. It was like living in an awful part of town, hoping you wouldn't get shot on your way home. It was like eating ramen noodles every night because you couldn't afford chicken or even a nice salad for dinner. It was like skipping meals so that your son could eat a full one. It was like crying yourself to sleep every night, having to take everything one day at a time. It was like thinking the only person you'd ever loved was gone, and he would never know his son. It was like not being able to give your son a decent gift for Christmas, or a fancy costume for Halloween or a video game for his birthday. It was like always feeling like a disappointment and a mistake. It was like being embarrassed when your only friend offered to buy something or lend you money, because he knew you needed it more than anything."

I didn't look him in the eyes.

"And I'm not a lair. I stopped harming myself when I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't ever hurt EJ. But when he was born, I went back to it. I never cut myself if I thought someone else would be hurt from it. Never."

"But that's where you're wrong, Bella. Others were hurt." Neither of us looked each other in the eye. It was going to be a long night. Almost as long as the thin pink scars that would be forever etched into my wrists. A reminder, if I could survive this far, I would live through the rest.

_**This one was a little dark…. I hope I don't have any seven year old readers… oh well…. If you are young one, the next chapter might be slightly M… whoops. **_


	19. 18 Scars

_**This one is in Edward point of view… cause I feel like playing around with it a little… bear with me, guys.**_

_**EDWARDPOV**_

It was raining again. But I didn't mind the rain much. Bella was laying down, sprawled beautifully across the sheets. No, she wasn't asleep, but she was pretty out of it. So was I. I'd missed her so much. Last night was hell. Except the heaven that followed it.

I could remember how she felt, her skin against mine, how perfect it was. I'd almost forgotten. Forgotten about the misery and mistakes. I'd almost forgotten about the scars. Not just her scars, lining her elbows and wrists, but my scars, too. My scars that used to rip apart my heart, instead of my skin. The kind of scars both of us had received.

I almost felt guilty about how last night had ended, like I'd taken advantage of her. We were both so emotional, it felt right. But what if she wasn't ready for a more… sexual relationship yet? What if she didn't even want to be with me at all? After what I did to her, I couldn't blame her.

I stared at her beautiful figure, closed eyes and even unneeded breaths. She was truly amazing. Everything about her was. There was not a flaw on her body that wasn't either cute or sexy. She was perfect. Watching her like this made the pain slowly start to phase back to me, throbbing on the edges of my unseen scars. What if she decided to leave again? What if she realized when she snapped out of her daze that last night was the last thing she could handle?

I had been such an ass to her, too. I'd slept with her on her birthday and left her only days later. I'd taken her virginity and left her with nothing. I'd not only ditched her after loving her that severely, I'd done it telling her that I hated her. That I didn't want her. What had she thought of me? She probably thought I was some sort of douche bag who did that a lot. Slept with a girl and left. But in all truth, she'd taken my virginity too. I wasn't just an ass, I was a dumbass.

And scars had a way of ripping open in memories. So as I reflected on my mistakes, I became more masochistic than ever.

Cringed over in pain, I tried to force myself to stop thinking about the months I'd spent away from my family and home, wasting away in dark, lonesome places. I'd been slowly decaying from the inside out. And though I'd judged Bella for her constant self-harm, I knew if it were possible, I would've done it too. If I'd been left alone like that, abandoned by everyone she knew, left alone to raise the one person in the world she could count on. I would never truly have her trust back, and I knew it. I'd destroyed her entire life, and I'd taken it all too lightly.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered in the air, looking down at her.

Her eyes fluttered open and she whispered just as quietly,

"I know,"

"Forgive me." I whispered, leaning into her cheek.

She simply nodded, inhaling deeply.

I breathed in too, inhaling her delicious scent.

"Don't leave me. Never again." She said shakily

"Never." I confirmed.

It happened so fast that I barely had enough time to react to her lips crashing against mine. We were breathing heavily, out of habit, uneven gasps between kisses as we moved together in unison. Suddenly, I couldn't feel the scars. I couldn't even remember what it was like having them. And in all honesty, I couldn't care less anymore. Because all that mattered was her. Her and her body and her health and her mind. Her beauty. She was so beautiful.

My hands knotted in her long gorgeous brunette hair. My anxious lips locked and unlocked with her supple pink ones between breaths of unnecessary air. If I were human I'd be flushed and red, my heart would be beating ferociously. Instead, there was a thrilling rush of adrenaline.

We fit together perfectly, like we were made as two pieces of a puzzle, finally finding each other after one piece had fallen behind and gotten lost in the mist of other pieces that just didn't quite fit the right way.

We soon found ourselves lying once again in the white sheets of Carlisle and Esme's room. Since my room had no purpose for a bed we'd come here… And they were going to kill us.

"Bella?"

"Hm?"

"We need to go. Now."

"Why?"

"We just…"

"I know, so what?"

"In Carlisle and Esme's bed."

"Oh."

So we quickly began cleaning up, I ran our somewhat damaged- meaning torn apart, whoops- cloths to our bedroom and Bella ran down to the basement to wash the sheets- because if they _did_ find out, they'd want clean sheets- when I got a call from Alice.

"what's up Alice?" I asked into the phone.

"Parent's bedroom, nice." She laughed.

"Shut up. You know there's not bed in our room except for EJ's… which is way to small"

"I'd say. So how do you plan on replacing the demolished headboard before we get back? I mean, they have me calling to see if you guys are done arguing… They want to go home now, Ed."

"Shit. I don't know Ali! I mean… we damaged that thing pretty bad. "

"Um, Ew. TMI. Please, keep your sex life to yourself." I could almost see her cringe.

"Tell them that we aren't done okay? Tell them we have a lot to talk about alone and we might be a while. If they need anything, you can come get it."

"You want me to lie?" She gasped innocently.

I sighed irritably.

"Okay, okay! Fine."

"And please… don't tell Emmett."

"Only for Bella's sake." She promised, laughing.

I hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" I heard a bell-like voice ask from the doorway.

"Just Alice," I sighed, "She knows about.. well… everything."

"Everything or everything that happened in this room?"

"This room."

"Did she tell Emmett?" She groaned.

"No, I told her not to." I promised.

"Thank you." She sighed. "I really am sorry you know." She whispered.

"I know, even though you don't have to apologize to me of all people." I looked down at her chagrined face.

"I love you." She said. She buried her face in my chest.

"I love you too." I hugged her closely, until my mind snapped back to reality.

"We need to go buy a headboard." I said quickly.

"What?" She asked, utterly confused.

"We may have demolished Carlisle and Esme's last night." I cracked a sheepish smile.

We spent the next two hours looking around on websites and making phone calls, searching for an identical headboard. And I mean identical. It had to be _exactly_ the same, so that their vampire senses wouldn't pick up on the difference.

Finally, we found a headboard with the same chestnut wood. Unfortunately, we couldn't find exactly the same one because they'd had it specially made. We would have to lie through our teeth.

When everyone had come home, we were greeted with hugs and a few laughs from Alice.

"Edward? Bella?" We heard Esme call from upstairs.

"Yes?" We replied, shakily.

"What happened to our head board?"

And we burst out laughing.

Maybe the scars were healing after all.

_**So this one was A LOT less dark than the one I wrote last… do you guys like Edward and Bella's POVs or should I stick with just EJ? I feel like I want some romance and I can't really add it with EJ telling the story… unless he makes a little crush… interesting…Tell me what you think about that! And just so you know, I live in NY and with the weather that's been predicted, I might be in some serious trouble with 'sandy' which, for those of you who don't know, is a storm the might turn into a hurricane. A lot of schools were out except or mine today because of it, im mad cause the only reason we were in school is because the board gets paid more the longer we're there and so the other schools got let out or were dismissed early. We had to stay the whole day. Anyways, the roads might be flooded and schools closed and stuff. My power might go out so I don't know when you're gunna get this chapter… I hope everything will be fine, but 'Sandy' has already killed 60 people in the USA. So just hang on tight, especially you, my beloved Newyorkers. **_


	20. 19 Untold Stories are Meant to be Heard

_**MKay. So ive been thinking about where to go with this piece… I'm not quite sure yet so hang in there… This chapter will be important. **_

_**EJ is Backkkkk!**_

Twenty-four hours. That's how long it took to make Rosalie spill. We had called yet another infamous family meeting into session. To discuss the change. We sat there for a day straight, waiting for her to say something. Mom offered to tell the story, but Aunt Rose refused. She had to be the one to say it.

"I was getting sick of it. We all were. We all knew what was going on. Edward brooding and miserable, Bella sinking into depression… Alice had seen her cry at night. I knew, because she confided me when it became too much to bear. Alice would break down seeing her best friend like that. It was like a chain. Edward left Bella. Bella became depressed and made a few mistakes and got all of the blame. Charlie, Jacob and her son were now sucked into the sadness. Edward moped all day until Carlisle made him leave. Jasper was depressed when Edward was around which made us all upset. When he left, Alice got visions that hurt her, which hurt jasper, which hurt the rest of us. I was tired of being sad because Edward made a mistake. Alice had wanted to send an E-mail to Bella, but was afraid of getting caught. All of the angst was killing me. So I told Carlisle I was going on an extended hunting trip with Emmett and told Emmett to go on a nice long hunting trip, and not to be back for four days so I could catch up with him when my schoolwork was done. I booked a plane using cash out to Washington so that none of the family members could track my flight with my bank account.

"When I got there, I saw Bella with some kid. I didn't know it was her son and I thought maybe she was babysitting to earn some extra cash. There was so much I didn't know. It took me forever to find her since she wasn't at Charlie's place. I didn't understand why she'd moved out or why She wasn't in college. She was an absolute hot mess when I found her. Sorry, Bella…." She winced, but continued,

"I knew I couldn't just barge in there, especially with the kid in the room, so I stayed outside and waited. But the kid just wouldn't go to bed. He was in the room with her forever. I decided to leave and visit Bella during the day, which didn't go as planned. The next morning when I came back she was gone. I went to the shoe store that she worked at and asked for her, but they told me she never showed up for work that day. I got worried when she didn't go to work and after three hours of waiting for her to come, I went to Charlie's. Charlie was a bit more than shocked to see me… and a little less than cheerful to put it the nice way. In the end, he didn't know where she was either and swore I she left that kid alone for the night while she went out partying, he would kill her. That was when I realized she had to be his mother. He was exactly the right age, too. I freaked out. I wasn't sure what to do, knowing Edward had a son he didn't know about and I decided I had to find her and bring her home to Edward to work things out…That was When I saw the note."

I remembered the note. The one I still had in my backpack. The one from my mom.

"Wait I can go get it!" I exclaimed, racing to my room to find it.

_Dear EJ,_

_ Don't worry about me, I'm fine. This will sound very crazy but I've left. For good. I'm so sorry. This wasn't a choice, I swear. I was forced to leave. I'm lucky that they're letting me write to you, really. I'm writing as fast as possible. I know I've been a horrible mother but I love you. I've been upset for a long time now and I'm so sorry you got stuck with me for a mom. I love you. _

_I need you to do something for me. You know my work. You know who I'm looking for. You have permission to use anything in my notebooks, computer and any page I've saved on the internet. I need you to find him. Tell him I am going to the ballet studio. He'll know what I mean. Tell him I love him. There are pictures of him and his family. I managed to find some in yearbooks and other places. If you see any of them, mention my name. Tell them who you are. Even if you aren't sure it's really them._

_I'm so sorry. I need you to find them. You are so young, too young to travel without an adult. Do you remember Jacob? Well, he will come to pick you up tonight. He has his own instructions. Go anywhere you think will lead you to them. Please. I need you more than ever now. My life depends on this. Everything you need, including cloths, are packed in a bag on my bed. You may bring anything else you want but pack lightly. Whatever you do, don't go to Italy. No matter what. That's all I can tell you without this becoming dangerous to you. I love you. Be safe._

_ ~Mom _

I read aloud the note.

"Yeah, that's the one," Rose sighed.

"I knew it had to have been one of our kind seeing as she told him not to go to Italy, and the whole ballet studio thing… I figured it was Victoria. Boy was I right. I couldn't chance her getting hurt, and I figured I couldn't wait for her son to get back from school or wherever he was so I left the note there for him as it was intended and went to go find her. I recognized some of Laurent's scent around the house and left right away. When I got to the ballet studio in Phoenix, it was horrible. Like I was reliving the-"

"Rose," mom whispered warningly, nodding to my dad and I, "Not in front of them. They shouldn't have to hear that part. That's not fair to them."

"okay well She was being hurt and my instincts kicked in-"

"What do you mean she was 'being hurt'?" Dad said appalled, "Please, tell me he wasn't…"

Rose and mommy looked down.

"Almost." Mom whispered, "I was okay. Rose saved me before that could happen… but it was pretty bad. I was bruised and my right arm was broken because of how I struggled underneath him… But it didn't get that far. I owe my sister for that."

"As I was saying…" Rosalie cleared her throat, trying not to get into what exactly went down, "I kicked Laurent's ass. He wasn't expecting me to come up behind him. After 'd finished him that red-haired bi-"

"Please, language Rose!" Esme reprimanded, looking at me. Like I didn't know the B-Word.

"Fine. Victoria came up behind _ me_ and tried to take me out with a few claws and scratches but I managed to break he down too. For the second time in under ten years, that place was burned to the ground. They'd just finished rebuilding it too, what a shame. When I managed to get to Bella, she was almost as critical as she'd been last time a vampire attacked her there. I knew I couldn't save her alone and I could barely be around the blood. I knew Edward would be pissed, but all I could think about was her seven year old son who didn't have a daddy and might lose his mommy too. So I changed her. It was hard to stop, but I found that if I thought of that poor little boy, I could manage my thirst. I thought about how if it were my child, what I would want Bella to do. I found the strength to stop, for EJ. I wasn't really sure where to go with her, knowing the cops would be there soon, investigating yet another arson case in the same place. I didn't have time to 'fabricate a crime scene' like last time when Alice made it look like she'd dropped from a two-story window. So I took her and ran. I camped out with her in a forest somewhere. I called Carlisle and told him Emmett and I were running late and I called Emmett and told him I still had a lot of work to do and he should continue with his trip. I hated lying to you Em, but I was afraid of what you would think of me and I was terrified you would let it slip where I was if Edward came home. I couldn't tell anyone and I prayed Alice wouldn't see anything out of the ordinary, since she had blocked Bella so well in the past couple of years.

"It was hard to hide her, especially with her screaming erupting constantly. I thought someone would find us and call the cops. I didn't need to get into any legal matters at that point. I mean I'd already committed arson and murder to save her life. I'd also technically kidnapped her, but at least I'd kidnapped her from her kidnappers… but that's not something that would qualify in front of a judge. I tried so hard not to leave her alone, but I had to hunt. It was a good thing I stayed close because, just my luck, she woke up alone while I was out catching some nearby deer. She was exceptionally god at self-control. As in, we passed through a crowd of people when she was only hours old and she didn't even flinch. I swear she doesn't even like the taste of blood. That was why I kept encouraging brining her to school, I know for a fact she can handle it. I'm remarkably grateful for her gift. Without it, I don't know what would've happened to us. I took her hunting but I could only do so much with a newborn… I didn't want her around EJ, so when I came back she'd been staying in our guest cottage a few miles away. I guess she must've heard our argument and come to intervene…"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up…" Bella sighed.

So we all just sat there. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Nobody knew what to say. Dad held mom and Emmett held Aunt Rose and we were silent.

"So now that this was sufficiently awkward…" Jasper mumbled, as he was taking in eleven times the awkwardness.

"Yeah," I mumbled back.

"I thought maybe we could-" I was cut off by Alice's sharp gasp.

Our heads turned to her in curiosity, "Rose, please tell me how the Volturi are involved with this…?"

"I didn't think they were."

_**Here ya go!**_


	21. 20 Fighting Has Never Felt So Wrong

_**In honor of what happened in Breaking Dawn part two, this will be carlisle's POV. I cried so hard. Good thing it wasn't real. Only those who saw it will understand. If you have not, go order tickets NOW.**_

_**CPOV**_

They were coming for us. Alice had seen it. They were coming soon. Once the snow was sticking, they would be here. We were all afraid. We weren't quite sure why they were coming, either. Did they think Bella was a human? We never told anyone about her but if word got out that my son had told a human… Thing would get ugly. But that was the easier situation to fix. All we would have to do is show them her immortality. They would go away. But the Volturi didn't make house calls very often. Alice said they were bringing the entire Italian guard. Every Volturi member there ever was, down to the human woman who sits at the front of the lobby. Everybody. That's what made us think it might be something a little bit more serious than a human vs. secret problem, which is easy enough to fix. But the other reason… was EJ. They didn't know what he was, or how he came to be. They wouldn't listen to us if we tried to explain, and we knew that.

No other clans or Nomads had come across us. We would've smelled them if they had. So how would the Volturi know? Did they know anything at all? There was no way to be sure.

"We have to hide him." Esme suggested.

"They'll smell him anyways." Edward grumbled.

"Not if one of us takes him somewhere."

"But if a member of the family is with him, they'll suspect something when that member doesn't show up." Alice pointed out.

"Not if the dog goes." Rose muttered

"Stop calling me that!" Jacob yelled, "I'm not even a part of this. I came here for Bella and EJ, not to help you guys in some war. It's not my fault some ass knocked her up in highschool."

"Jacob!" Bella yelled.

"Stop it, mutt." Edward growled.

"Or what?" He growled back. Bella was hyperventilating.

At the same time Bella, Edward, and Jacob were arguing (though Bella wasn't really talking at all) Esme, Alice and Rose continued to discuss EJ.

"if Jacob takes him to some secluded island, or someplace sunny, the Volturi won't come after them." Esme said

"Yeah, but if they really to know for a fact that he exists, they might kill us!" Alice warned, disagreeing

"Not if they don't have proof!"

"But if they do, then what? We're just all screwed?" She asked with a venomous tone.

"If they have proof, we're all screwed anyways Alice!" Rose interjected.

I then averted my eyes to Emmett and Jasper, who were busy making bets.

"Who's gunna win: Edward or Jacob?" Emmett asked

"Depends on if Bella cries or not."

"Yeah, if that dog makes her cry all hell will break loose. That dog is dead meat."

"What about the ladies in the corner?"

"Don't know about them, but if your wife upsets mine, I will hurt you."

"Hurt me? Why me?" Jasper asked

"Well I'm not going to hit a girl! You should learn to control your wife!"

"I heard that Emmett McCarthy Cullen!" Alice yelled.

"Control _my_ wife! Ha! I dare you to get yours under control first! We aren't their guardians, Em! They control us, remember! And how _dare_ you insult Alice." He growled the last part furiously, though the beginning of his rant was sarcastic and almost rude.

Over back by my other son with his girlfriend and enemy, Things were getting bad. Edward and Jacob were nose to nose and screaming like there was no tomorrow. The way things were going, there would be no tomorrow.

"What did you just say?" Bella asked, looking at Jacob.

"I called him a blood-sucking monster, just like you!" Jacob screamed back.

Then the worst thing that could ever possibly happen did. Bella cried. She let out a gasp as his hurtful words took a blow to her feelings and she let herself cry into Edward's arm.

Why this would be considered the absolute worst thing ever, you ask? Because things were about to get violent. Very violent. There was nothing I could do about it now. It all happened so fast. All of the other arguments stopped short. The rest of the family, including EJ, who was covering his ears on the couch, turned to look at them

Edward unwound his arms from Bella's waist carefully as if not to disturb or hurt her. He gently pushed her aside before shining his arm, that connected with Jacob Black's jaw. There was a crack, but it wasn't coming from his bone, it was because he had changed. From man to wolf. Now this may sound horrible and ridiculous, especially for a man my age, but all I could think was 'Shit just got real.' I wanted to intervene, but it was too late for that. Someone would get hurt if I attempted to stop them at this point. They were too far buried under rage and instincts to reach them. Nothing would snap them out of it until the fight was over and the battle had been won. I'd seen it happen much too many times before. People died in fights involving the protection of a mate. If Edward thought Bella was in danger, he would kill the source no matter his morals or beliefs about Jacob. The second Bella let out a whimper, it was over. He had no control. Instincts of protection overcame him.

Jacob lunged at my son, attempting to claw off his head, but didn't succeed and he saw the move coming, only to jump out of the way leaving Jacob to crash into the wall. The house shook and there was an over grown wolf sized hole punched into Esme's beautiful white walls. My wife was going to have an absolute fit when this was over.

If it would ever end.

_**Sorry I know it's short and has a crappy ending… the fight will continue next chapter… BYE! :)**_


	22. 21 Pain

_**Kay….. Next Chapter!**_

_**BPOV**_

"Stop it! Stop! please!" I cried, yelling over their growls as the fought. They wouldn't listen. I hyperventilated and though I didn't necessarily need the air, I still wished I could breathe. It was too much. Could we even do anything besides fight with each other anymore? And even worse, was this becoming a physical thing? Would out bickering turn into punching?

"Stop!" My voice cracked, only making me cry more as they continued.

"Bella!" I heard Carlisle yell to me from across the room, "There isn't anything you can do! It's their nature to fight… When Edward saw that Jacob hurt you emotionally his protective instincts kicked in… Jacob has to be the one to stop the fight… Edward _can't _until someone wins. And we _don't _want him to lose."

I took a deep breath, unsure what to do. I had two options. Let them finish the fight, no matter how emotionally scarring that may be, or… get in the middle of it, which would be highly dangerous. After everything we'd been through, I couldn't let Jacob win, but I couldn't help kill my best friend. I knew what I had to do. I tried yelling at them one last time to stop, but I knew they wouldn't listen. Always trust Carlisle.

"Stop!" Nothing changed.

I took a deep breath. I could do this. I knew I could, I had to before somebody got hurt. What if the fight led to the other room and my son got toppled? Yes, I had to do this. But I really didn't want to… I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one thing I'd learned was never to get in the middle of instincts. But they wouldn't hurt me.

I took a step closer to them, then another until I was close enough to feel the hot wolf breath on my neck and smell Edward's sweet scent underneath my nose.

"Stop!" I said again. They didn't. I moved closer.

"Edward!" I yelled, "Jacob!" No reply. Then I did it. I leapt from my spot and into the middle. I refused to fight either of them. I stood there as they thrashed against me. Edward stopped first, and I thought I'd gotten out of the fight successfully, until I felt a painful jab in my left side. I gasped and fell over, screaming in pain.

"Bella? Bella? Oh my god! Bella? Please answer me!" I heard Alice first.

There was a whimper and another cracking noise from where Jacob was and more frantic yelling.

"Bella, please answer me!"

"Edward." I moaned.

"He's here… he… he's a little out of it."

"Edward!" I cried.

"Bella, he's fine we just need to get you checked out first," Carlisle said softly.

The pain was almost as unbearable as the change, like the venom was pulsing through my veins yet again, though at a much weaker level. Maybe this is what being under Jane's control was like. I clutched my arm… only to find nothing there but air. I gasped. I was broken, like a little girl's Barbie whose arm had gotten snapped off. Like a twig. That cracking noise was me.

I continued to moan in pain.

"Bella, you need to sit still, we need to check you…"

"I need Edward!" I yelled.

"I'm here Bella, oh my god… I'm here… Bella! Bella! Can you hear me?" He was frantic.

"Where were you?" I moaned, worried that he might've been hurt too.

"God Bella, that's what you're worrying about now? Of all the times to be worried!" He scoffed.

"Where were you? I didn't see you leave!" I yelled at him, trying to distract myself from the pain.

"Oh, I didn't leave, I could never leave knowing you were like this," He cried.

"Then where were you!" I was a mess of a person, laying on the floor, crying as my boyfriend comforted me and my father tried to re-attach my arm.

I'd seen vampires die before, their arms and heads being snapped off by the Volturi, but they didn't have time to scream before they went limp. I should take that ongoing pain as a good thing, since it meant I hadn't died yet, but it hurt so much.

I let out a painful scream as Carlisle stuck me in the wrong place with my detached arm. He wasn't precise enough and the bone jabbed in the wrong way. It wouldn't fit back together.

"Carlisle!" Edward yelled.

"I'm sorry, son, but this doesn't happen very often! I don't know how to reattach an arm to a vampire's body! It's not my fault she's hurt this badly!" He snapped. Maybe I was dying. I'd never seen his so strained. Not that I could see much of anything at all.

Painful screams erupted from my body, as he tried different positioning of where to place my arm. Each was more painful than the last. It had snapped mid-bone, meaning he had to be prefect. He had to pick up every last shard and fit it back in its place before it could be reattached to my body. Each shard that fit morphed into perfection, not a crack in sight. But there were so many… some too small for the human eye to see with a microscope. With each tick of the clock, my pain grew and my screams loudened. At one point I began to scream;

"Kill me! I don't want to live, Edward!" But he replied with

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry baby, just hang on, please, Carlisle will fix you we'll be okay."

He tried to sooth my screaming, tortured body.

It became unbearable, worse than the change. I began dry-heaving. If I were human, I would've choked on my own vomit. The dry-heaves turned into vomiting animal blood that I'd digested earlier. When I had nothing left in my body, I was back to the dry-heaving. I couldn't breathe which couldn't kill me, but was extremely uncomfortable. I just wanted to take deep breaths and calm myself down… but with the vomiting and crying and spontaneous screaming, I was left gasping for unneeded air. I coughed and wheezed and spluttered. I scared the hell out of Edward.

He too was crying. I knew it hurt him to see me in pain. A large part of wanting this to end was just so he didn't have to see it anymore.

"This is all my fault." He cried

"N-no. I-I was being stupid… I knew- knew it was d-dangerous a-and I did it anyways…"

"But you couldn't have possibly known it would end up like this."

"And neither c-could you."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think I've found the pieces. Brace yourself Bella, this is going to be painful." Carlisle interrupted.

"S'okay.." I shook, "I know what pain is like."

They both chuckled darkly.

"One…" He counted, "Two…" I gulped, "Three!"

The world was drowned out. Everything went black. The pain blinded me. I couldn't move, but I could feel. Like a thousand guns had shot my side at the same time a thousand knives had stabbed it. I came out of it in a daze, still screaming.

The pain slowly faded away, leaving my body motionless, yet still functional. I was alive. I could breathe again. I could feel the wet blood on my face and the strong arms restraining me. I could hear things other than my screams again. I looked around, my eyes blurred with unshed tears. His face was the first one I saw.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Oh my god, you're okay!" He hugged me.

I my arm felt sore, like a human's after a day of going to the gym.

"I-I ruined your shirt!" I looked at his used to be blue button down polo. It was stained with blood in large spots and tattered with rips from my clawing. His hair was tussled and h looked worried as hell looking down at me.

"You're kidding, right?" He asked, "You can't honestly be worried about my shirt after everything that just happened, can you?"

I shrugged, "It was the first thing I noticed."

"Can you move?" He asked.

I nodded, and slowly stood up, I too was covered in blood with torn clothing and messy hair.

"Does anything hurt?"

"My arm's sore and my throat is raw."

He winced, "Probably from all of that screaming you did."

"Yeah, probably." I sighed.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Alice and Esme.

"We left for a while… EJ didn't have to see that. I wanted to stay but Edward made me leave." Alice explained, "Are you okay?"

"I am… now. That really had me scared."

"_you _were scared?" She exclaimed, "I wasn't sure if you were going to make it through… your future has been disappearing and reappearing all week!"

"All week?" I gasped, "How long was I out?"

"Eight days. Not counting this morning," Edward sighed, wiping the blood off of my chin and kissing my forehead gently.

"I didn't know vampires could get hurt so seriously like that," Esme pondered.

"It's very rare and only happens to very unlucky people. We all knew Bella would be the only accident-prone vampire in existence." Carlisle sighed.

"Come on you two, let's go get you cleaned up… You wouldn't want your son to see you like this…" She said, motioning to our bloody bodies.

"But the carpet…" I looked at the living room. There was a werewolf-sized hole in the wall, the glass table crushed, bloodstains everywhere, paintings thrown off of the wall, and indents in the floor where I jumped up in shock from the little bursts of pain and landed just a bit too hard for the house.

"I'll clean up… You've had enough suffering to last a lifetime, both of you." Esme ordered, motherly instincts kicking in.

"Bella, I want you on bed rest, okay? You too Edward."

"But-" He tried to protest.

"Edward, you were hurt too, you need to go home and rest."

"You were hurt?" I asked frantically, checking over his body for any sign of injury.

"Thanks Dad. Now she'll never stop worrying." He grumbled.

"She has every right to! You were badly injured too, son."

"Bad? How bad?"

"Carlisle, please shut up?" Edward begged his father.

"Both of you, I'm moving you to the cottage. Now"

"But we aren't supposed to move there for a week…" I stammered.

"Well that was a week ago. Eight days, remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

"Bella, I'll get a sling from my study, don't move your arm and Edward, I suppose you'll need-"

"Dad! Shut up!" I panicked. What did he need? Why wouldn't he tell me?

"Edward, really, how bad are you hurt? As bad as me? Worse?"

"I-"

"It was pretty bad, Bells." Alice interrupted him, "He demanded Carlisle treated you first. He went into shock from the pain which is why he couldn't talk to you for a while there…"

"Why can't anybody in this family learn to shut their mouths?!" He exclaimed, "Bella, honey, I'm fine. Just great. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"Bella he is going to kill himself, if you don't talk some sense into him," Esme got involved, "He is too sick and too hurt to go about taking care of people like he's fine. It'll kill him, I swear to god Edward, you will listen to Carlisle, shut your mouth and lay in the frickin bed, do you hear me?" I'd never heard her talk like that.

"Yes, mom."

"Will somebody please tell me how you were hurt?" I demanded, pointing at my beloved who was being way too stubborn for my liking.

"same thing, but the leg." He answered, looking down, refusing to meet my eyes.

"He hurt you?" I gasped "That badly? Did he fix it right? Does it hurt? Are you sick? How long have you been completely healed?" I started shooting off questions

"Alright, let's just go rest in the cottage" he said. He still doesn't think I noticed his limp. This was not over.


	23. 22 Rings and Other Things

_**BEFORE YOU READ: **_

_**Yeah, my limb-losing happens a little different from how they describe it… and it was a little confusing so… they were not bleeding, the pain got to the point where they were getting sick (which can happen to humans, it's pretty awful) and the only things they could've had in their stomachs was blood… so that's why they were bloody. Yeah, last chapter was a little strange but it was coming from the perspective of someone who was deranged with pain and blacking out… **_

_**ON WITH THE STORY!**_

_**EPov**_

I felt horrible. This was my entire fault. Well… The mutt took part in it too, but I should've known better. Someone could've gotten hurt… Someone _did_ get hurt. Bella. My Bella. She refused to admit how bad it was, but she keeps forgetting that I was there while she screamed. I screamed too, but after she's blacked out. Carlisle had to treat her first. I went into shock after the dog sent her toppling, and he landed on me, still bent on attacking me. That was when Alice jumped on him, straddling him and almost snapped his neck… EJ was the only one who stopped her from killing him once and for all.

My so was too kind.

I demanded Carlisle to check her out first, and it took a lot longer than expected. I had to contain my screams. One of my hands held her while the other grasped the shattered stub where my leg normally was. I don't think she heard my struggle. Her eyes stayed closed the entire time Carlisle tried to piece her together. She screamed every time he placed in another shard. Her arm hadn't exactly cut cleanly, and there were arm fragments surrounding us, microscopic at the smallest. It took him nearly two days to find every piece of her, and the bigger the got, to more pain she was in. She was still considered a newborn. Because she had no control over her body, she couldn't hold in the screams or pain as much as I could. I knew she shouldn't worry about me when she was like that, so I didn't mention the injuries of my own, though my father knew I had them, until Bella was well.

She didn't heal very fast. The bigger the piece that he reattached, the more she screamed. One piece was severely painful. To the paint where she started to not only cry, but vomit as well. It just spiraled me into worry. I practically killed Carlisle for causing her pain. He was already knee's deep in stress and worry. I'd have to apologize later. Finally the only piece left was the actual arm. The biggest piece. We had to count to three before attaching it, and it just made her back out.

I was lucky to only have two large pieces, since the do bit it cleanly off, instead of jabbing me and breaking the bone. My surgery, we could call it, was much faster. I screamed and might've vomited myself, but it was no where's near as bad. She could argue that the little pieces didn't hurt as much, as she had, but I knew that the longer she waited for the next portion to be attached, the more it hurt.

So here we were, in bed, not really doing anything.

"Are you really okay? He didn't hurt you that badly?" She asked, worried about everyone other than herself as usual.

"I'm fine, Bella," I murmured, kissing the top of her head.

She was leaning on me, he head just under my chin, and good elbow propped up on my chest.

"But Carlisle said-"

"He worries too much, and so do you!" I laughed.

"Look who's talking! You over react about everything!"

We laughed together.

"You're sure you're fine?" She asked again, "If you aren't and it turns out you were lying to me, I'll hurt you myself."

"Ooh, feisty." I growled.

"As long as we're in bed…"

I started to kiss her. He were getting pretty deep and I ignored the shooting pain it caused me. It would be worth it for just a quick round…

My phone rang.

"What, Alice?" I sighed, irritated. Of course she had to pick _now_ of all times to call me.

"Don't even think about it, you two. You're supposed to be resting not making a 69! My god! That is the worst vision I've ever gotten in my life!"

"Well it's the best image I can picture," I winked at Bella.

For a second, and I knew it was silly, I pictured our life together in a hundred years. I pictured Bella and I married, living together in a house with EJ. I imagined Proposing to her and spinning her around when she said yes. I imagined our wedding day, freesias and roses everywhere. I even pictured our honeymoon on Isle Esme and her laughter for thousands of years to come. Suddenly, I wanted that. I was no Alice, but it had to happen. Soon. Now. I had my mother's ring in the closet underneath a pile of cloths in the old house at Forks.

The phone was silent on the other end. I was worried for a bit, deliberating whether to hang up or not.

"Edward?" Alice said excitedly after a moment of waiting, "That is a brilliant idea! Not now of course, since it wouldn't exactly be romantic if you fell over while spinning her around because of your bum leg… But it could work in a few days…"

She started yammering.

"Alice! Hold on a second! I was just thinking… it wasn't a decision yet, I was just, you know, daydreaming a little. I don't think she even wants that yet… It's only been a few months…"

"Oh, lighten up. She'll say yes. Never bet against me, remember?"

"Alice…"

"I'll go get if for you, okay? When you're ready, I am. It'll be waiting for you on the top shelf of my main closet."

I still thought it was ridiculous that she had multiple closets. Her biggest was a walk-in the size of a master bedroom complete with Gucci and coach purses, stiletto heels, designer collections from Michael Kors to even genuine Coco Chanel's she bought in the 1920's, And if you forget about the many designer hair accessories, you are mistaking. She went all out, even though she didn't have much hair to begin with…

My train of thought was lost when Bella started to seductively bite my neck.

"Say goodbye, so I can say hello," she murmured, biting down on my ear. I almost dropped the phone and moaned.

"Edward? Are you even listening to me? Edward?"

"Yeah, yeah. No sex ,rest, top shelf, closet. Got it. Bye."

"Edward…"

"That first one isn't happening."

I hung up and decided to break a rule or two… and maybe another headboard.

_**So Edward's thinking About marriage huh? Hmmm….**_


	24. 23 Argue is All You Can Do

_**So this takes place while Edward and Bella are in bedrest, just after Alice calls them. EJ/Jacob scene before the call and the Alice/EJ scene AFTER Alice calls. Otherwise the times overlap… Now- CONTINUE!**_

_**Epov**_

"I hate you!" I screamed at Jacob. He was supposed to be my friend. He was supposed to help me. Why would we do something like that? How could he?

"EJ, I know you're upset…"

"My parents, Jake. My parents almost died because of you! It took Carlisle a week to fix them, Jacob! Do you know how much pain they were in? I could hear my mother's screams literally a mile away! You… you…"

"Look I know I made a mistake, bud, but-"

"No Buts! You attacked my dad, and tried to kill my mom!"

"He attacked me first!"

"Because you made mom cry!"

He didn't answer me.

"You hurt her, so he was getting even. Instead you couldn't take a punch and damaged them more! Do you know how long it's been since my family life has been almost functional? Never. I was born with an eighteen year old for a mom, no dad, and grandparents that saw me as a problem. We had no money and nobody but ourselves. We let you into our family… _she _trusted you to keep us safe…and look what you do! Things were staring to get normal! I have a dad now, Jacob! I have a real family! I finally have someone who loves me other than my mom. I have friends now, Jacob… Things were finally getting good. No arguing, no yelling, no more crying, no more mood swings or emotional roller coasters… no more awkwardness or unfriendliness… I was starting to have a real family! And then you go and pick a fight with my father… you injure both my parents fatally, complicating things even further… What if he thinks we're dangerous now? What if he thinks we're no good? All because you took a swing at him! If he decides to leave again because of this…" I was beyond upet.

"EJ, nobody is leaving anybody! You will be fine. Your parents are fine. He's not going to drop you like that again."

"How do you know?" I whispered.

There was silence.

"How do you know he won't get sick of us? What if he thinks I'm a drag? What if he only wants my mom in his life, and not me? He didn't sign up to be a parent. He barely even knows me. I'm the result of teen sex. That's it. I'm a mistake. He shouldn't want me."

"Hey, that's not true and you know it. He loves you. You aren't a mistake, you're a miracle. Did you even her Bella's story? They didn't think a person like you was even possible… they didn't think they could have kids together… and of course he knows you! He knows everything about you! It's been months, EJ, he loves you. We all do."

I was going to hug Jake, when I remembered I was still mad at him. I frowned.

"Yeah, you're right. But this is still your fault."

"I know, I know."

"Do you wanna know what the worst part is? They were fatally injured and you walked away scathe-free. " I grumbled looking down.

"I'll apologize to them, if it makes you happy."

"You'd better. I don't think my mom will ever forgive you for trying to hurt him of all people. I mean, you know how important he is to her… let's say he'd died in that little battle in Esme's living room… what would've happened then? I know. She would've probably killed you unthinkingly and then kill herself. We both know they can't live without each other on this planet anymore. It was the only thing keeping him here, her still being alive, when he left."

"I know." He muttered

"Just go." I muttered.

"You don't really think that, do you?" A light voice asked from behind me.

"Believe what?" I asked, turning around to face Alice.

"That he'd leave you again," She said grimly.

"I don't know… He did it before. Promises don't mean crap to him. He promised my mom he'd never leave her… but look where we are." I huffed.

"EJ, how do you know about his promises? Did she tell you stories about us? I thought you had no clue who we were…"

"She talked about them in her nightmares. A lot of nights I couldn't sleep because of her thrashing in the other room. She would scream his name… It gets pretty repetitive after a while. I'm not stupid, you know."

"Oh, trust me, I know," You're one of the smartest people I've ever met. And by far the most intelligent kid. Which is why I thought that maybe you'd know by now that your father loves you very much and that it was a misunderstanding when he left… he didn't know about you."

"That's what I'm saying Alice!" I yelled, "He didn't know about me, I don't blame him for the fact that he left _me_… I hated him because he left her! I'm worried about _her _Ali! Even if I didn't exist, he would've left! He didn't want her! He just left her in the middle of nowhere all alone! She trusted him and he broke her…. I don't think I'm willing to waste my trust on him, too. I feel like the only reason he's with us now is because of me. It's all because I was a mistake he made on a one night decision with his high school girlfriend. He feels bad. He just doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy, leaving his child. I feel like he's saving their relationship for me, like he's letting us live here for me. He has to be, I can feel it. It's not right… I feel like... Like… like he doesn't really love either of us. Like he just wants to look good, being noble and accepting us back into his life. I don't want their relationship to rely on the fact that he didn't know about me. If he really honest to goodness loved her at all, he would've stayed whether he knew about me or not. It wouldn't have mattered if I existed. He wouldn't base his decision on the fact that he had a child with her, but that he loved her. I'm in the way of it all. How can he ever know if he loves her, or he wants to be the good-guy?"

There was silence as she processed my words. Her expression turned from thoughtful, to sadness, to complete rage. She looked at me, her eyes blackening with fury. I gulped. It was never fun when Alice got angry at somebody, and especially if it was you.

"Don't bring that argument into this again," She spat, "The last time you said something like that you nearly tore apart this family!" She screeched at me. "Don't you dare. My god, EJ! When are you going to learn this? _He. Didn't. Want. To. Leave._ Do you want to know the real reason why he left? Because he wanted to keep her safe. Yeah, it was a horrible idea, it wasn't well thought out, and it completely backfired. But it physically hurt him to leave her. We mate for life. We can't fall out of love. He put himself through _hell_ because he thought it would make her life better if we disappeared. He wanted her to get married and have children- which is where the not knowing about you part comes in- and grow old. He knew he could never do that with her. Things had gotten ugly… his own brother had _attacked_ her. Do you know how hard that was for him? Fighting off his own family to protect her? It was different the time before that when another person had done it, but this was his _family_ he had to fight now. It was somebody he cared about. He realized that she couldn't ever be 100% if she was with us, that there was always the possibility of one of us hurting her in a fit of lust or rage. He didn't want to hurt his family, but he was afraid not to. So he did the only thing he could think of. Do you get it now, EJ?" She said this mockingly, "Do you get why not everything's about you? Hell, my brother was an idiot for going through with it, especially when I warned him, but he did it out of love. He learned to be compassionate. He should've taken her reactions and feelings into consideration, but he was willing to hurt himself to save her. Everything he did was because he loved her. He respected the fact that she was a human with human needs and desires. I think you need to learn and respect the fact that he is your father, and that you have no right going around and saying things like that to us or him. And even if you want to, remember that every last one of us is his family and we love him. When you insult him so seriously and depict him as some malicious person with no respect or love, we take it extremely personally. We _will_ get defensive. Don't you _dare_ talk about _my_ brother that way ever again." She hissed.

I was ashamed at first. But then _I_ got defensive.

"Well _you_ have no right telling me what to do! I'll talk about him any way I want! I'm not your kid! You don't and will never know a thing about parenting or having a family! No one will ever be your kid! You know why? Because you can't have any! So stop telling me how my parent should raise me and how I should act, 'cause you don't know crap about raising a kid, and you never will."

I knew I'd hit under the belt. Though it wasn't as obvious as Rosalie, Alice had wanted children, too. I'd just brought the fact that she could never have that to her face. I was going to get it now.

I watched as her face drained of its anger. Her rage dissipated. The anger took a new form of shock and horror. Unshed tears pricked in her eyes, but she held back the sobs.

"You. You are the nastiest, disgrace of a child I've ever known. How dare you stoop to that level. You- you little bastard! How could you even… you… I thought we were family."

She couldn't take it anymore. She took off.

"In thought we were too!" I yelled after her, succumbing to my own tears.

"So did I." I heard Carlisle mutter behind me. He was leaning at the doorway behind me, he had obviously witnessed the whole thing.

"Carlisle- I.."

"You don't need to explain. I might've been shocked if that'd come out of the mouth of a six year old.. But I finished your scan and… Mentally, you're almost sixteen. Physically, you're twelve."

"Carlisle, now isn't really the time for this."

"At least we're not arguing. Well, you almost turned it into one. I take pride in my work and you practically shoved it aside when I tried to teach you about yourself… but I am the level headed one in the family you don't think you have anymore."

"Why do we argue like that Carlisle? I mean, you guys didn't do it before I came here. You didn't do it with my mom when she was human, so why now?" I asked.

"At times like this, argue is all you can do."

_**EJ always starts the fights… What did Esme say about thinking about your words? He's obviously not a very good listener. He's not too great with his words either. Poor Alice… Who knew she wanted children like Rose did? I didn't until I typed it! **_


	25. 24 The Luckiest Girl in the World

_**Okay… So I don't do this a lot, but I'm actually going to give a quick thank you to someone who reviewed earlier today. Her name is L Christine and she gave me this super long comment about all of these things…. I was reading it and I just felt so appreciated and it was just great. L Christine, you gave me some great feedback and new idea (which I'm totally using btw) I just… I love you bro! Now, on with the story. (oh and is it okay if I use some of your suggestions? cause they were really good! :) )**_

_**BPov **_

We had just managed to put some cloths back on when jasper came bursting through the door.

"If your child ever makes Alice cry again, I swear to god I don't think I'll be able to control myself as well as I did this time!"

"What?" We asked in unison.

"Your filthy mongrel of a child just told Alice… that…" He huffed, not wanting to say whatever the hell was on his mind. I was about to get defensive and protect my son when I heard Edward growl beside me.

"He did not."

"Oh, he did," Jasper said.

"Will somebody please tell me what's going on, already?" I pleaded.

Edward held my hand and I focused on my gift, trying to enter Jaspers mind. Then I saw it. It was Alice sobbing into my- well Jasper's but this was from his point of view- shoulder. She was hugging him and trying to explain through her uneven outbursts of weeping.

"He-he told me that- that I would n-never be a parent, h-he said I would be a b-bad mom… H-he rubbed it-it in my face! H-he… Jasper! I-I want a baby! I w-want a child… wh-why can't we have that? I-it's not fair that we have-have to give that up! He told me- he just- I want…" She couldn't finish. I suddenly felt guilty. Whether it was from Jasper's memory or because of what EJ did, or because she could never have what I had… I did not know.

"Now do you see?" Jasper growled.

"I-I don't know what to say… did he…?"

"I don't know what he was thinking… rubbing it in her face that she was unable to have kids? Something that she so desperately wanted? I get that he might be upset with her… but that one hit under the belt… it's such a touchy topic… especially to Alice and Rose and even Esme sometimes," Edward said, almost astonished as I was.

"But EJ would never say something like that… He just wouldn't!"

"Look, Bella, I love EJ. He's my nephew and everything, but he's been weird lately, and all of us are getting sick of it. Three huge family-breaking arguments were started just in the past two months because he can't keep his mouth shut! You two almost broke up, then you literally got broken… and now my wife is in tears on our front porch! I just… I love you all, but I don't want to have to leave."

My stomach lurched. Who said anything about leaving? Who was leaving? Just Jasper? Jasper and Alice? If everybody was sick of it like he said, would they all leave? Would Edward? Were they sick of me, too? Why…?

"Look what you've done Jazz!" I heard Edward yell.

I had totally spaced out.

"I didn't do anything I just said I didn't want to have to leave… shit."

"Yeah, no duh! You don't say things like that near her!"

"She didn't take that literally, did she?"

"No Jasper, she's practically cationic right now because she thought you were kidding!"

"I'm fine guys… it just freaked me out a little… I'm okay now. I got it." I interjected.

"Bella…" Edward trailed.

"No, I can't let little things people say throw me off, I have a fresh start now. Just because I have some abandonment issues healing up, doesn't mean other people are going to walk on eggshells around me, making sure they don't say the wrong thing. The words left, leave, and leaving are in the English dictionary, you know."

"Okay, well, um…" of course Jasper was getting awkward just kind of standing there while I gave my mini-speech, which made all three of us awkward, unsure of what to say next.

Here we were discussing the misbehavior of our son with our brother in the room and we were… naked. It was a very good thing we left the blankets on top of us.

"I'll be going. I'm just going to see Alice or something… Promise you'll talk to him? Figure this out?"

"Yeah, Jasper. We'll do something about it… Tell Alice I'm sorry and if she needs some girl talk I'm here," I sighed exasperatedly.

"Of course," He nodded, quickly disappearing out the door.

"Great…" Edward huffed, "Do you want to talk or should I?"

"I think it's time for a Mother-son talk," I explained.

"Of course, babe. I get it… do you think it's about something that happened with Jacob?"

"I honestly have no idea. It could've been anything…"

"Well it's a lot for a kid his age to take in… one day he's in his house with his mom, reading a book on the couch and the next he realize he isn't human, his mom just became a vampire, and his dad that's been absent his entire life shows up as an immortal, begging for forgiveness. We knew he would break at some point… He's been so strong, always protecting you, making sure what was best for his family, he forgot to take care of himself. He's so much like you, Bella. He is so loving and caring that it becomes unhealthy for him. You both need to learn how to take care of yourself before you take care of the rfest of the world."

"A blessing and a curse!" I joked.

"I'm serious."

"I know… but I'm not!"

He smiled, "No, you're not, are you? I get a beautiful, sophisticated yet not too serious, loving girl, but you get stuck with me… you really do have bad luck, don't you?"

"Nope. If involves you, I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

"You mean that?" He asked.

"Well, of course I do. I want to spend every minute of forever with you. You know that." I brushed my hand across his cheek. A soft, loving, and yet somewhat strange look crossed his face.

"What is it?" I asked

"It's nothing… I was just thinking… about the future."

"Well of course our future will be together, if that's what's got to you."

"No, of course I know that…"

I was about to ask what he meant by our future and why he was being so weird when Alice walked in.

"You really need to see your son. I think there's something wrong with him… he's in danger, I can feel it."


	26. 25 I Don't Give Second Chances

_**APOV **_

Bella was out of that bed faster than any vampire could be.

"What do you mean he's in danger?" She asked- more like demanded- urgently.

"I-I don't know…" I stuttered, "I can't really see him because I was never a hybrid, but because he's a blend of two things that I have been, I can… feel him. It's unspecific, but I just know." That was the best explanation I could give her.

"How can you not know?" She spit. I winced. People were really taking a hard hit to me today. So far, EJ, Bella and even _Jasper _had insulted me.

"Wait, backup, Ali. _Jasper? _He said he was trying to help…" Jaspers eyes widened as the mental picture accidentally flooded his mind.

"That isn't important, okay? We need to focus on your son right now."

"What's going on?" Bella asked, unknowingly yet somewhat frantic. Edward pretty much ignored her, his protective instincts kicking in.

"Alice, this is important… I'll… I'll kill him!"

"No, he didn't mean to! It was an accident…. I swear! It won't happen again!" I spluttered, attempting to protect my husband from my dangerously defensive older brother.

"What won't happen again?" Bella asked, extremely confused.

"He has no right! I don't care if you are married, he can't do that!"

"You can't be mad at him! He was angry and he's your brother!"

"Which brother? Jasper or Emmett?" Bella demanded.

"The hell he is! No brother of mine would do that to someone!"

"_**What the Fuck is going on?" **_Bella asked angrily.

"It's nothing. C'mon. We have to go find EJ." I shot a glare at my brother. I sighed, knowing that I was wrong to be angry at him because he was only trying to help…

"Alice, do you think he's okay?" She half-whispered.

I couldn't answer her for certain.

When we got to the main house, EJ was crying uncontrollably on the couch. He kept saying that he was a horrible person and that he was sorry, that he hated himself and just wanted to die. I spent the rest of the night comforting him. Yeah, I'd been angry and hurt before, but the anger just wasn't worth it anymore. I was sick of being angry.

"I thought you said he was in danger?" Bella asked. I motioned to the fifteen year old looking boy. Razor in hand. The danger was himself.

"EJ!" Bella yelled.

"Like mother like son!" He yelled back. I threw my head in my hands. This just kept happening. I could understand the first few reveals, the hurt through the first four months… but it had almost been nine months! We should've recovered by now! It was just too new family members… one, since we already considered Bella a part of it. Why was this blowing so far out of proportion? Sure, Bella and Edward had a bad falling out, but that was over. Sure, no one was happy Rose kept secrets from us, but it didn't really effect anything. Yes, Jacob and Edward didn't get along, but why the hell did that have to turn into a fight? It was like every little thing turned into a family blowout! One bump in the road caused chaos, and I was tired of walking on eggshells,trying to keep everyone in the house happy! I was sick of this. Sick of everything and everyone.

"Enough!" I yelled forcefully, a surprising sound coming from such a small creature.

Silence rang clear throughout the house and others emerged. They stood frozen, staring at me. I never yelled, and they knew it. I was fuming.

"I am sick of this! Why can't we just be a family again?" I screamed at the top of my lungs, standing frigidly in place, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Ali-" Jasper came up to comfort me but I cut him off.

"No! Don't touch me!" I screeched. He froze in his spot. "I am so done with all of this. I don't even care anymore! You know what? Go at it! Scream, and cry and throw punched like there's no tomorrow! It won't matter! I'm leaving and you can't convince me otherwise!"

"Y-you're leaving?" Jasper asked in a puppy-like voice. My heart melted a little bit and I almost gave in, until I snapped back to reality.

"Don't act so innocent. This is your fault too." I spit at him. "None of you are innocent." I added through clenched teeth. I was the only one who saw what they did behind closed doors. I knew what everyone did. All of the corrupt ways of the people I called family. They we horrible people. Every last one of them had a sin that I knew of. I wasn't stupid. They all thought my visions had enough holes that they could keep a secret or two. Didn't they know how naive they all were? How cruel I could be? Despite my anger and knowledge, they were the ones that had always helped and cared for me, so I had no choice but to love them. This was where I broke. This was too much. If I'd thought things were twisted before, I couldn't even thing to see this future.

"What did we do?" My mother asked sweetly. I glared at her.

"You think I'm stupid, don't you?" I asked harshly.

"Alice I-"

"You didn't think I'd tell, did you?" My voice softened, but became more hysterical.

"You can't. You wouldn't do that to me. To this family."

"Everyone's got a secret." I whispered. "Every last one of you."

"What did I do?" Rose asked. I laughed darkly.

"Don't pretend. You all know what I'm talking about. Do me a favor, while I'm gone, figure out each other's. I'll be keeping my eye on you. Once each of you come clean, I'll come back. You have to own up to your mistakes at some point, right?" I said calmly, while heading towards the door.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah, Ali?"

"You're the only one in the room I trust. A year ago, you seemed to be the darkest one here, but I knew the truth. If you need anything, you know where to find me big brother. Remember, top shelf."

With that, I left.

That part of my life was over for now. I would go back to it later when things got better, but I wasn't going to shed another tear for them.

Half a second later I got a text from none other than Jasper:

_You know I love you, right?_

_**So is that what you meant when you called me a lying bitch? Funny, most husbands who love their wives don't use them as punching bags. Nice act for Edward and Bella though, they really thought you were protective of me. You deserve a Grammy. Have a nice life. **_

_Please, give me another chance._

_**Like the Volturi said, I don't give second chances. **_

I shut off my phone. I didn't want to hear it. I was afraid that if he begged I might give in. I wasn't giving in if it killed me. And staying might kill me. I had the aching muscles to remind me.

_**I don't know where that came from… its really dark…. I don't really like that I made Jasper look so evil, but I like dark stuff… maybe he'll redeem himself… poor Alice though…. I was thinking about deleting this chapter but I decided to just go with it… tell me what I should do! Ugh sorry if you didn't like it, but I'm using it anyways. I'm making it up as I go along so sorry but this is what my hands felt like typing today… Also I know I haven't written in a while… DON'T KILL ME IM SORRY**_


	27. 26 Esme was with WHO?

_**AHHHH okay here it is! The next chapter!**_

**Ed pov **

The silence following Alice's absence was torturous.

"Edward, just tell us what each of us did… then we can get Ali back." Jasper begged.

"I don't think she wants me to." Growled at him.

"Dude, why are you so upset?"

'_I didn't even think about what happened with me and Alice… how could he have known that I did that? He can't.'_

"Oh, he can." I grumbled, reading Jasper's thoughts.

"Man, I didn't-"

"Save it. I'd rather you never talk to me again. I don't want your excuses. If you want her to come back, you're gunna have to own up to it yourself." I said harshly.

"Edward, how can you talk to your brother like that?" Esme demanded.

"He's no brother of mine," I hissed.

"Edward, hon, what did he do?" Bella asked innocently.

"I can't tell you. It's up to him." I grimaced, not exactly wanting to be the one to break it to a newborn vampire that her best friend had been beaten by someone she considered as her brother. I was angry enough… if someone as young and powerful as Bella got a hold of this information… things would get ugly.

'_thanks for not telling her, man.'_

"I didn't do it as a favor to you 'man'" I moved him. "I'm not done with you. In fact, I'm planning on beating the shit out of you. And if you _ever _come near my wife, child, or Alice ever again, you can consider yourself dead. I'd plan you will if I were you." I glowered at him, wanting to leave, but unsure how to do it without someone following me, that someone being Bella.

I decided I didn't care, and stalked out of the room classically. I heard footsteps coming from behind me.

"Bells, just go. I can't tell you, no matter how much I want to."

"It's not Bella."

Esme.

"Mom, I really just want to be alone. I cant keep a secret like this if people keep asking me about it."

"I just want to tell you what I did." She spoke softly. "To tell you why Alice doesn't trust me."

"Esme, I don't really want to know. If both you and Alice were trying to keep it from me, it has to be big. I can't handle anything big right now." I muttered, but she ignored me and continued talking.

"You have to understand that Alice didn't know the whole story. She only knew what she saw in her vision… she assumed too quickly. I tried to explain it to her but she told me that she didn't care. She said she wouldn't tell, and so I let it drop. She repressed the memory and tried to move on, buti think it really hurt her… I didn't do anything wrong…. She read it out of context…"

I tried to believe her about the 'not knowing the whole story', but the images that were going through my head were too unreal. Too unbelievable. Too upsetting.

"Esme…" I gasped, taking it all in.

"Honey, don't judge me… you don't know what happened. Don't be like your sister… don't. Please. I have to explain. It wasn't my fault, I didn't mean to…"

But I was already out the door.

This. Was. Not. Happening.

The images evaded my very mind.

Esme in the large, king sized bed. My mother kissing him, her fingers weaving through his hair…. the fear of being caught, mixed with lust. Her lips locking with his, sharing and basking in the moment with him. At first I thought it was Carlisle, appalled that my mother would dare to show me her love-making with my father… and then it wasn't him. It wasn't Carlisle.

I couldn't see his face. But I knew. I knew it wasn't my father. This man had longer, dark hair. This man had long, eerie fingers. This man was rough with her, not loving. He was only thinking about his own pleasure while sleeping with her. This wan was greedy.

I was sickened, disgusted with her. How could she? She wanted me to 'hear her out' but then gives me these images to fill my head? How could she do this to Carlisle? How could she do this to our family? Sleeping with some guy? Throwing it all away for one night? My stomach churned as I thought: _What if it wasn't just one night? _

I had to tell someone. I just had to.

I quickly texted Alice.

_Can I tell Bella? I don't think I can handle just knowing these things for myself, I can't take it. _

a reply came in a half a second later.

_**If you must.**_

I started running towards the house. When I got there I looked to my girlfriend with eager, tortured eyes.

"Come with me Bella. Now."

As I explained the story to her, I saw her eyes tear up with unshed-able tears. She gasped as I explained the man to her. It was as if she knew him. I didn't want to press the topic and further. I didn't care if she knew him or not.

"Please tell me you would never do that to me." I whispered at the end of my angry, upset rant. "Tell me you would never think about loving anyone but me. Tell me that you want to spend forever with me. Tell me that you want me to be EJ's official father by law. That you'll let me adopt him so that he's my son in every way possible, including by law. Tell me that you'll love me forever and that you want to be with me for the rest of our existence."

"I would never do that to you," She spoke softly and slowly, "I would never think of loving any other man," She whispered, "I want to spend forever with you," She breathed, "I want you to be EJ's father in every way possible," She sighed, "And I want to be with you for the rest of our forever. I love you."

"Isabella Swan, will you marry me?" I asked, pulling out the ring I'd already retrieved from Alice's closet.

"Yes." She replied breathily, yet unsurprised, as if she'd been waiting for a long time for that question.

I kissed he eagerly, leading her to the bedroom.

I ripped off her top, hungrily clawing softly at her jeans. She unbuttoned my shirt before giving up and ripping it off my back, muttering

"Fuck this."

I winked and growled.

"I'm not really interested in fucking anything… but you."

Best. Sex. Ever.

In the morning, Bella rushed into the shower, getting ready for her normal routine. Though I was still upset with Esme, nothing could ruin my mood. I was getting married.

My phone dinged.

Alice.

_**It's Aro.**_

_What?_

_**Aro. Esme slept with Aro. I saw it. **_

_Alice, I don't want to talk about this. I asked Bella and she said yes. That is the only thing im focusing on at the moment. _

_**You asked bella? **_

_Yeah. _

_**I thought you were waiting…**_

Suddenly she didn't sound so enthusiastic towards my ebgagement plans. What had happened since two nights ago that made her change her mind so quickly?

_Yeah. She didn't do anything wrong, did she?_

_**Edward, when I said I didn't trust anybody in the room but you, she was there. **_

_So can I trust her? _

Her repley made my heart freeze over.

**No. **

_**DUM DUM DUMMMM. Okay. What do you think is gunna happen next? I have no clue, to tell you the truth. So predict away because it probably won't be anything like yours. **_


	28. 27 Power

_**I KNOW THE LAST CHAPTER WAS VERY CONFUSING BUT DON'T WORRY T WILL ALL BE EXPLAINED EVENTUALLY. **_

**Esme's POV**

It was all over. Everything was gone. My family would hate me and it was all his fault.

I couldn't help but to cry as the door shut behind my son. He was going to tell them. He was going to tell Carlisle. He was going to talk about my unfaithfulness, about how I'd gone to Italy for a one night stand, how Aro had loved me. How I must not love my husband.

They had it all wrong.

I hated Aro, couldn't they see that? The burning passion Edward had witnessed was not love, but white hot hate. The lust was my mind, imagining it was Carlisle, trying so hard to pretend that I wasn't with Aro. The emotions were not ones of desire, but of despair. I didn't want to be there, but they made me. They threatened me.

I did it for my family.

-FLASHBACK-

_The cool August breeze sent shivers of fear down my spine as I walked towards the gate. I pulled at my long black gloves that concealed me from the small amount of the ending summer's sun. The air was crisp, as if getting ready for the snippy Italy, fall weather early this year. My back sun hat started to blow off of my head, but I reached up and swiftly caught it with a single gloved hand, pulling it back down over my head as I continued walking. I nervously tugged on my matching black scarf, not wanting to enter the dreadful castle-like building I'd only been in once before with my husband. _

_I made my way inside, filled with dread, and walked to the lobby. A cheerful young woman greeted me as if I were in a dentist office's waiting room. _

"_Who are you here to see today, ma'am?" she asked chirpily. _

"_I have an appointment with Aro." I informed her._

"_Are you sure it's just Aro?" She asked, as if it were unheard of to speak with only one of the three brothers._

"_Oh yes, he called this afternoon," I nodded, "He said it was urgent. That I had to come alone. He said that he would be in the white room…?"_

_The woman's eyes widened, gaping at me. She almost looked fearful, making my stomach jump nervously. I didn't know why he'd asked he to come, but it sounded important. I didn't want to keep a vampire ruler waiting, especially when I had a family back at home that he could easily separate from me. She recovered her composure quickly, with a wide, brightened smile. Too fake. _

"_Yes of course… let me see…" She muttered, back to her façade of gaiety. "Esme, correct?" _

"_Yes, that is me." _

"_You'll want to go up the stairs and take a left. Then there is one more flight of stairs, and you should be at the white room. If you need help, just press one of the buzzers at the end of one of the halls and ask for directions." _

_I nodded, hastily following her directional. I took in a shaky breath as I faced the white room's door. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I did not have a good feeling about it. _

"_Aro?" I whispered, as I creaked open the vintage wooden door. _

"_Esme, my dearest," He purred darkly, sending more chills down my spine, "You came." _

"_Of course, Aro." I smiled stalely, refusing to meet him in the eyes._

_Before I could comprehend what he was doing, he rushed me to the bed, throwing me harshly onto the wine-colored sheets. _

"_I think you know why I brought you here today," He hummed in my ear. I tightly screwed my eyes shut, trying to block him out. I stopped breathing, not wanting to smell his atrocious scent mixed with the saddening yet hungry smell of human blood that he's been obviously feasting on recently. _

"_Please," I begged, "You and Carlisle are friends. You can't do that to him."_

"_I can do what I please," He slapped me, "and it wouldn't matter. Men can share their possessions, right?"_

"_I am _not_ your possession." I hissed. He slapped me again._

"_Never talk to me again with that tone, do you understand? I own you and your family. I can do what I want to all of you. I can and I will. If you so much as blab about this…" I paused his rant to flash me a wicked smile, "Then your family will perish, and you will watch." _

_That shut me up. _

"_Do you understand?"_

_I nodded, trying not to whimper under his strength. _

"_Now tell me you want me." _

_I stayed silent. _

"_I said tell me!" He roared. _

"_I-I I want you!" I sobbed, tortured._

_My wracking sobs were silenced by the sickening feeling of his rough, angry lips forced upon my own. _

_I wanted to scream for help, I wanted to push him off of me and run, but his diet of human blood was stronger than mine of animal, and I knew I wouldn't be able to fight him off. Even if I could run, I knew I wouldn't. not with the threat of my family at risk because of it. _

_As he undressed me, forcing me into unpleasant positions, unshed-able tears welled up in my eyes. My screams were not of pleasure. They were of mourning. I was losing my faithfulness to my husband. I was ruining my trust of my family. _

_I couldn't help but to think of my ex-husband, who did this nightly when I was a child. I should be used to this by now. I should be used to being used as a sex toy and being 'owned' by a man who only wanted me physically for his own sexual needs and desires. I was used to it, but that didn't make it any more right. It didn't make it hurt any less. _

_But whether they knew it or not, I was doing it for them. I was doing it for my family. _

-END OF FLASHBACK-

I continued to sob, reliving my dreadful past. That was nearly thirty years ago, yet it haunts me and my perfect photographic memory wherever I go. And now it will come out, but it will never be told correctly. They don't know of my sacrifice. To them I'm just a mistress. A cheating, lying, disgrace. Carlisle will never forgive me. My children will never hear me out. I won't have the family I fought so hard to keep.

The only reason I didn't tell was so that Carlisle wouldn't get us all killed… if he found out what Aro did, he would go into protective attack mode. And that was not a good thing when you were against the Volturi. Then I realized why they must be coming. Carlisle was going to find out. Carlise was going to attack. It was my fault the Volturi were coming. It all became clear.

The Volturi coming had nothing to do with EJ.

When Carlisle finds out, he'll attack Aro… and confronting the leader of the entire vampire population was not something people would normally want to do. Something will happen to Aro, and the guard will come to us.

The guard will kill us.

_**Is anything a bit clearer now? At all? Oh and L Christine…. You might be onto something with the whole Jasper thing… **_


	29. 28 Watching and Waiting

_**This Chapter was extremely hard to write… Sorry it took so long!**_

_**ALICEPOV**_

I was searching. That was all I'd been doing for days. I had to make sure they were playing by my rules. Esme had owned up, but no one else. Nobody besides my cheating mother had admitted to their faults- and only to Edward. Who was next? That was the problem… I didn't know. I wasn't seeing anything anymore. I wasn't even getting little flashes or snippets, let alone full visions.

I tried sketching on the hotel stationary, thinking that it might just provoke some scrap of the future, but it did nothing. I tried going for a run in the forest to clear my head, but that didn't work either. The only one of them I'd contacted was Edward… After he'd already proprosed to her. I originally wanted them to be married. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted him to finally have the wife he'd always longed for.

And then I saw it.

The false note in her story. The lie.

Bella was lying to him. She was lying to everyone.

A part of me wished that I'd never stumbled across any of the information and secrets my family held. In truth, I didn't want to know. It was a burden weighing me down, having to carry everyone else's dark enigmas.

I remembered their shock when I told them of my intellect. It was almost amusing when they realized that I knew everything. What, did they seriously they could keep things from me? I saw the future, for god's sake! I knew what they did behind closed doors. I knew everything about each one of them. Every secret they kept. There was only one person who knew how that felt— My brother. He read their minds. It was surprising that he didn't know everything I did. However, it made sense if you thought about it. If the person was determined to keep something from the family, they simply wouldn't think about it. If the person didn't think about it, Edward wouldn't know. So if they were as practiced at blocking their minds from him as I was, Edward didn't know shit.

I'd been sitting in this chair for god knows how long, waiting for something to come to me when it came to me.

"_Don't you trust me, Edward?" Bella asked innocently. _

"_Of course I do, love. Why wouldn't I?"_

"_You've been acting strange lately." She pointed out, "Ever since you proposed, you've been cautious."_

"_I'm just… upset about Alice leaving," He sighed. A strange flash of emotion crossed Bella's eyes. A spark of… jealousy? Anger? Irritation? Sadness? _

"_Oh, yeah. I miss her too." _

"_Do you really?" Edward muttered under his breath. _

"_What did you just ask me?" Bella's head snapped up and her eyes met his, "Were you accusing me of not missing my sister?" _

"_No…" He mumbled, "But when she was leaving, she said…"_

"_What? What did she say?" She looked extremely pissed off._

"_She said that _I _ was the only one she trusted in the room. She didn't trust anyone but me. And that includes _you_." he somewhat snapped at her. _

_She looked down, "So you _don't _trust me."_

"_I didn't say that…"_

"_Actually, you did. Look, if you don't trust me, then I don't know where this relationship is going." She glared. _

"_Bella, I'm sorry I-" he started to apologize, when a sudden jolt of realization crossed his features, "Don't do that!" _

"_Do what?"_

"_Change the subject! You're trying to make me feel guilty, I remember that trick! You used to use it on me all the time when you were human!" He exclaimed. _

"_I'm not changing the subject!" She objected, "I'm being a hundred percent truthful when I tell you that I am genuinely pissed off. Or don't you believe that, either?" _

"_See! There it is again! You're trying to pick a fight with me to distract me from the actual problem."_

_She glared at the ground. _

"_Bella," He murmured, calming down. He touched her cheek, "Look at me." _

_Her eyes met his. They were filled with sadness and regret. _

"_I'm sorry," Her voice cracked, "I didn't mean to… I didn't want to…. I didn't think you'd find out." She was on the edge of non-shed-able tears. _

_His eyes grew soft, his face less taut with anger. He hated it when she cried. _

"_What did you do?" His voice was heartbroken, fearing the worst._

_Bella opened her mouth to speak and…_

The vision ended.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered under my breath. Now how was I supposed to know if she told him or not? Was she just going to lie? She could make something up… something less horrible than what had actually happened. I was supposed to be able to count on my visions to tell me what was going on so that I could warn him of foul play! That was nearly impossible when they cut off like that.

Visions never just stopped. What was going on? I brainstormed, pondering the possibilities. Did Jacob just happen to wander in right as she was about to answer? Then it hit me. She hadn't decided yet. She didn't know what to tell him. It hadn't happened yet, but she didn't know whether or not she wanted to tell the truth. She was undecided. Either that, or she couldn't think of a lie.

Would she lie?

Well, she certainly had in the past. What was stopping her now?

I growled in disgust. Some sister. I busted my ass for her. I sent her that email so that she could find us, so that she would have a life with us again. I knew she was lonely, and I wanted to help. I would've gotten in an immense amount of trouble for that message if it hadn't turned out like it did, but I sent it anyways. She certainly had a way of repaying me. Repaying my brother for taking her in. Repaying her son after finding his father. But which one of them would own up to it first? Not Bella.

Carlisle would have to fess up, then.

_**Dun dun dunnnn Okay… There it is. I don know what Carlisle and Bella did… BUT I WONT TELL YOU. Haha you'll have to wait a few chapters to find out. I can assure you they did NOT sleep together. That would be far too disturbing for me to write… okay? Okay. **_


	30. 29 Confiding in Carlisle

_**OKAY IMPORTANT- THIS STARTS WHERE ALICE'S VISION LEFT OFF OKAY?**_

BPOV

"Bella…" His voice begged, "What did you _do?"_

I completely froze up. I didn't want to answer him. I didn't want to tell him what I did. What _we _did. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just didn't trust him. It was the beginning…. It was just after the transformation. I didn't trust _anyone. _I thought they would leave again, terrified that they would take my son away this time.

"I-I didn't mean to…" I mumbled for the millionth time.

"You didn't mean to what?"

"I thought you'd be angry that I didn't tell you," I was lost in my own thoughts, trying to figure out how to explain this to him, "I went to Carlisle. I wanted him to help!"

"You're confusing me," he pleaded. Nothing I was saying made any sense. I was scaring him, "What did you need help with?" He asked calmly.

"In the beginning," I muttered, "I thought you would take him away. I thought you would take my son away. I didn't think you would want him!"

"Why would I take him if I didn't want him?" Edward's eyebrows crinkled together in confusion.

"No, not now. I thought… If you found out…" I didn't want to say the words out loud.

"Found out what? That I had a son?"

"No… well, yes. But not like you do now…" I wanted to explain, but not like this. Nothing even happened. Nobody did anything, it was just a thought. It was a horrible thought.

"Spit it out!" He demanded, becoming frustrated. I let out a shaky sigh. I had to tell him. I had to tell him about what happened after he left. I had to tell him that I saw Carlisle, begged Carlisle to help me. I had to tell him, but I didn't know how.

"I knew you were leaving," I sighed, "I knew before you told me you were going to leave."

"What? Why didn't you try to stop me…? That's not like you at all," He was obviously confused again. It wasn't like me, he was right.

"I knew you were leaving, and I knew I was pregnant." I said plainly, observing the way his facial expressions changed with my words. The confusion in his eyes deepened.

"But if you knew you were pregnant and you knew I was leaving, why wouldn't you use that to try and stop me from going? If I knew, I never would've left you. You know that!"

"Do I?" I said almost sarcastically. He stared at me as if I'd just slapped him in the face.

"Bella, do you honestly think I would leave you alone, pregnant at seventeen, with nowhere to go after the child was born?"

"Do you honestly think you would've let me go through with it?" I retaliated.

"What do you-"

"No. Listen to me. I'm telling you my big family secret right now."

He was silent as I walked over and picked up my cellphone from the table beside him. I dialed the main house's number and waited for someone to pick up. Edward looked at me questionably, but I ignored it. This was Carlisle's secret too. He had to be here.

He arrived immediately after I'd carefully explained the situation over the phone. He was in out bedroom in four seconds flat, slightly frantic. He knew how intense this conversation would be.

"Why is Carlisle here?" Edward asked, after being quiet for several minutes.

"I told you that I'd be the only one talking," I reminded him.

"Bella-"

"If you want answers, I suggest you listen," Carlisle advised.

Edward nodded once, but he was not happy about being silenced. He was a very opinionated man… which was going to make this much more difficult.

"When you left," I started again, "I already knew you were leaving. After that night when EJ was conceived, you were different. At first I thought you felt guilty about sleeping with me. I called Alice for advice. I needed to talk to a girl about what happened between us. Not all the details… but you know what I mean. I wanted to ask her how I could assure you that you didn't hurt me or anything. I needed advise on how to bring up the subject without being awkward. Only when I called, it went straight to voicemail. I noticed your voicemail had changed, too. It was one of those mechanical voices that said you had changed numbers. I was a bit suspicious, but didn't make a big deal about it. Then, just two days before you left, I asked you to go to the store and pick up all of those things on the list, remember?"

He nodded and I continued, "Well, I didn't really need any of that. I didn't want you to go out because I needed milk and three hundred other things, I wanted you out so that I could go over to your place without your interference. You told me Alice and Jasper went to Denali to simmer down, but I realized that I hadn't seen _anyone _from the family but you in days… I thought maybe you were upset about something other than the sex, and you didn't want me near them anymore. I made up all of these crazy stories in my head like maybe you were mad at your family and you didn't want me near them because they were blackmailing you. Or some vampire disease spread to them and you thought we could catch it and were afraid to go near them, especially with me… Some of my ideas were really stupid. Anyways, I went down to your house and saw that everything was packed up. I saw a few moving boxes left in your room and Carlisle's, but the rest of the house was completely empty. I tried calling the rest of the family's cells but- surprise, surprise- they'd all changed their numbers. That was when I knew. I just knew you were leaving, and you weren't planning on taking me with you," I sighed, remembering that crushing feeling that had engulfed me.

There was a slight silence, before Carlisle cleared his throat and spoke up, "I was still in Forks finishing up my last few days on the job," he explained, "I couldn't just leave… the hospital required a minimum of 5 days in advance when people quit so that they can find replacements in time for the ER shifts they used to take. Think about how horrible it would be for four o clock to roll around, patients flooding in, bleeding and sick, only for there to be no doctor!" He chuckled, trying to break the tension.

I but my lip, offering a weak smile in return.

"I found out I was pregnant that day," I sighed, looking down, "You came home to find me gone. I was at a drug store downtown. I went because I didn't think I could face you when you walked through the door. I figured I could calm down, fill up the truck, eat a granola bar or something to get some food in my system… you know, just pull myself together for when I had to see you later. I didn't really want you to know that I knew. I figured you were leaving because you were unhappy, so my plan was just to be better. If I could make myself more appealing, you would realize that I wasn't so bad, and maybe you'd stay. I went inside and bought some of that cheap gas station makeup. Eyeliner, mascara, lipstick… I bought whatever promised to make me look beautiful. I thought maybe you'd like it. I'd show you what you were missing out on. I glimpsed in that mirror they keep hooked on the wall for people to use those really unhygienic "Try-Me" Makeup kits. I saw that I was breaking out and cringed, like 'god no wonder he's breaking up with me… I look like a monster.' I kind of wandered around, not wanting to go home.

I bought a pair of those flip-flops they sell for a buck, and sort of realized my feet were growing… like a size up. I was trying to find my way back to the cheap cosmetics, when I passed by women's hygiene." I'm sure they could guess where the story was going.

"Wait…" Edward sighed. "I know I'm not supposed to be talking, but why is the whole breaking out, big feet, stuff important?"

"Because they were signs," I explained, "My mother's shoe sixe grew from an eight to a nine with her pregnancy, and breaking out happens because of the hormone imbalance."

"Oh." Came his lame reply.

"I think we can all understand what happened next…" I said, "I saw the pads and tampons and realized I was a few days late. Not a lot, but it kind of freaked me out. I was never late before… and since it was the first time I'd ever slept with someone, I automatically assumed anyways. I dropped the stuff I was getting and immediately bought a pregnancy test instead. I took it in the gas station bathroom, knowing you were already back at the house by then. It came back positive, obviously, and that was about when I snapped completely." I took in an unsteady breath, ready to admit my faults, "I was going to tell you, Edward. Really, I was, but-"

"You wanted me to be happy." He said. I wanted to say he was right, and I did want him to be happy, but that wasn't why I didn't tell. I didn't say anything because I was afraid of him. I was afraid of what he might do.

"No," I practically whispered, "I mean… I wanted you to be happy, but that isn't why."

"Then why…?"

"Do you remember that night?" I asked him.

"Of course. I was worried sick when I came back and you weren't there. I called you but you didn't answer. You came home late, and I listened to Charlie scold you for coming home after midnight. You looked on the verge of tears… I thought it was because your dad had grounded you but…."

"But it was because of you and the baby."

Carlisle looked between us, "Should I continue to when you came to see me?"

"No, I think I need to explain it first," I sighed shakily. "Edward, I don't know how to tell you this, really, I have no idea. But… when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't keep it from you because I felt guilty, I didn't tell you because I was afraid."

"Bella, It's okay to be afraid. You were only seventeen! You were under a lot of pressure and-"

"That's not what I mean," I stated, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't have to look at the hurt in his eyes when I said this, "I was afraid of _you. _For the very first time, I didn't feel safe being with you and telling you something. I thought that when you found out I was having a baby, you would make me… get rid of him." I spit guiltily.

"You thought I would force you to get…"

"An abortion." I finished. "Edward, I didn't think you wanted me. You already thought I was tying you down. I couldn't imagine your reaction to the responsibility of a child! I didn't want to get rid of the baby, and I'd rather you not know. If you didn't find out, you couldn't be any more upset than you already were. You couldn't guilt or dazzle or blackmail or bribe me into getting rid of our child. I knew you were leaving, and thought that if I didn't stop you, if I didn't tell you, then you couldn't make any choices for me. So I went to Carlisle."

Thankfully, Carlisle opened his mouth to speak before Edward could.

"She came to me the next morning," He said, "In tears. She went straight to the hospital, knowing I wouldn't be home. She'd even cut a small gash across her forehead so that she could be emitted into the ER. She was determined to find me. Her cut wasn't that deep at all, but she battled with the nurse, demanding my immediate treatment, and eventually the nurse gave in. At first I thought she needed medical care, crying because it hurt, until I saw how shallow the cut was and realized she'd inflicted it on herself. She practically poured her soul out to me, telling me that she knew we were leaving. I couldn't understand her through the tears, and made her calm down. I remembered every detail of that conversation. She called me daddy for the first time. She explained how she went to the house and saw our stuff packed up. When she got to the part about her being pregnant, the first thing I said was 'Does Edward know?' The only problem was, the second I asked you," He motioned to me, "You burst into tears all over again," He turned back to Edward, "She explained how she wanted the baby, and begged me not to tell. Son, I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. You didn't see the desperation in her eyes. She was terrified of you. She pleaded with me, asking for nothing but advice. She told me I had to get you to leave sooner than originally planned before you could suspect anything. We were gone by the next day."

There was an eerie silence that fell upon us as he took in this new information.

"You might take some comfort in this…" Carlisle sighed after a long, awkwardly- quiet moment, "I was the one who went and checked up on her. I came to her house as often as was acceptable for me to leave Denali. I made sure her pregnancy was as risk-free as it could possibly be. I delivered your son."

Edward stared from his father to me, before speaking.

"You knew," He spat. "You _knew _I had a son. You _knew _she was pregnant. You _knew _that she was drowning… and you didn't tell me."

"Son, you can't—"

"No!" He roared. "You are my father. I am supposed to trust you. How could you watch her deteriorate like that?"

"She wasn't _deteriorating. _She was pregnant for god's sake!" He defended.

"Really? Because the way it looks online, she's lucky she wasn't ripped open by that _monster!" _

I gasped.

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand reached up to slap him.

"You _bastard!" _I screeched, "He is our _son! _You can't possibly say things like that about him! You wonder why I didn't tell you about him? It's because of _this! _If you knew how sick that pregnancy made me- on good days- you would've personally aborted him yourself! You would've knocked me out with drugs or something!"

"Bella I—"

"No. You've said enough." I snarled.

"Bella," Carlisle sighed, "He didn't mean it. I got him riled up. You know him, and when has he ever meant a single harsh word he's ever said?"

"When he's talking to Jacob," I muttered.

I looked at my fiancée.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "But that is not okay."

"I know, and I can't believe those words came out of my mouth. I love our son more than anything in this world. It just hurts for me to think of you like that, and it hurts to know that I wasn't there to help you because you didn't trust me to."

"I trust you now." I murmured, embracing him.

"Why were you always on the computer trying to find us if you knew where we were?" He asked softly.

"Because I didn't," I sighed back sadly, "Carlisle stopped coming after EJ was born. The rest of my story is true. No money, no support… I guess Carlisle just thought I needed help with the baby. He probably didn't think I'd want you near EJ at all."

Our father looked sheepish.

"I had no idea about her financial and family struggles… I would've helped if I'd known, but after all we had put her through, I didn't think she'd want to rejoin the family…" He stuttered.

"We know, dad." Edward sighed, tightening the grip around me.

He kissed my forehead, and I kissed his lips.

Let's just say Carlisle let himself out.

_**Yayyyy! There it is!**_


	31. 30 Anger Makes You Do Crazy Things

_**EJPOV **_

"What did you do?" I asked Jasper.

"What?" He asked only half-listening.

Uncle Jazz had been out of it. It was like he was dead. All he did was lay down on his bed and stare at the ceiling all day. He didn't talk to anyone, he didn't do anything. He just sat there. It was like he was paralyzed, or stapled permanently to the bed or something. His depressing mood was starting to overrun all of us, as if spread throughout the household. I was sick of feeling his misery. A dark cloud of sadness covered over everything.

"What did you do to make Alice leave?" I sighed. He flinched when I said her name, and I momentarily felt guilty. This was how my mom always acted on her bad days. Those horrible days every once and a while where she seemed to just give up. She would sit in her room all day, crying silently. It would become too much for her— the stress, the pressure, the disappointment… She would finish the horrible day off with nightmares that left her screaming. The next morning she would get up and be okay. She would apologize and be on her way. She would move on.

I hoped that if I could get my uncle to tell me what was wrong, clear his head, maybe he would move on, too. If he owned up to his mistakes and took that step forward to getting Ali to come back, then he would realize that eventually he'd be okay again. The only problem was, I had no idea how bad what he did actually was. I couldn't imagine her being so upset about him forgetting a birthday. A part of me didn't want to know what he did that made Alice snap.

It didn't matter anyways, because he refused to answer. He just sat there, unfazed, as if I never said anything at all. It made me almost angry. I just wanted to help! When he told someone, Alice would be more willing to come back!

"Jazz," I mumbled, "answer me, please."

He didn't respond.

"Jasper," I nudged him.

"Scram." He muttered harshly, "I don't want to talk to you."

"_Please,"_ I whispered "I'm worried about you! We're all worried about you!"

"Do me a favor— Don't. I'm a lost cause. Just go away."

"What happened to you?" I demanded, "A few weeks ago you were ecstatic to play Black Ops with me in the basement, claiming you wanted to spend more time with me! She left, I get it, but she promised she would come back when you owned up to your mistakes! What did you do to make you just give up? You can tell me, I won't judge you!"

"I hit her, okay?" He exploded in a fit of rage.

"You...What?"

"It wasn't my fault," He cried, "I didn't know, I didn't understand! I was just talking to her… you'd made her so upset and I was calming her down but that mutt passed by! He was furious, which made me furious and then… I was already upset with you…. And she was yelling… his emotions were taking over and I just couldn't control myself!"

I took a step back

"You hit her? You… _abused_ her?" I couldn't get it through my head. He'd promised never to do that. He'd promised that he loved her. I'd seen him with her! He was protective and loving and… he had to be lying. That just wasn't true…

"Please," he begged, "I didn't mean to! I wasn't in control." He took a deep breath, "It only happened once. The first time! The only time! I was upset about what you said already, trying to mask it so that I couldn't spread more bad feelings to her. Jacob came by… He was a wolf, and ready to attack. I don't know what set him off, but it set me off . I tried so hard, but sometimes… well, the emotions get the best of me. Alice was crying into my ear, blaming different people, sobbing over her life. I just got so frustrated! I tried to snap myself out of it, but it just didn't stop! I only stopped when he left. But when Jake ran off, so did Ali." He started dry-sobbing, hunching himself over. I stood there stunned. This was partially my fault. No, not really, but if I hadn't said those words, Alice wouldn't have been hurt and Jasper would have been okay…

"Don't feel guilty." He practically spit, "I'm the one who deserves to die. The only reason Edward's keeping me alive is to keep me suffering. As long as I'm alive, I can't find peace. Hell has to be better than knowing what you did to the person you love the most."

"Tell them," I sighed, "Tell the family. Explain it to them. What you did was wrong, more than wrong, but it wasn't your fault. In time, Alice will forgive you. Vampires mate for life, right? So matter how much she wants to hate you, she can't. You just have to respect that she needs some time away for a while."

I wasn't quite sure why I was helping him. Yeah, he was more or less innocent… but at the same time he'd hurt one of my favorite people! I guess it was because I was sick of the drama. I was sick of the never-ending fights and harm they did to each other. Sometimes I wondered if my mother ever felt guilty. It wasn't her fault at all, but the fighting started with Rosalie when Edward met her. It all went downhill from there. He left her, spiraling himself into depression, spiraling jasper into depression, spiraling the whole family into an eternal wave of sadness. When he left them, they weren't depressed, but missing their family. Then I came and screwed everything up again, and now every day just seemed to be endless bickering. Some were just little arguments here and there, but others were big family blow-outs. It didn't matter—I was done with it all.

"Tell them." I whispered again.

To my surprise, later that evening, when my father asked if there were any confessions, uncle Jazz raised his hand. You could see a bit of undertoned fury in Edward's eyes, even before Jasper spoke. Of course dad already knew… he just had to hear it for himself. As my uncle explained, the family's eyes widened. Domesticated violence was not taken lightly in this household after what had happened to Rose, and with Esme's husband during their human years. Rose looked at him murderously, Esme disappointed. Carlisle sighed, and Emmett tightened his grip around his wife, as if she would disappear from thin air if he didn't. Just the subject brought back bad memories.

Jasper finally explained the anger thing. (Thank god, because Rosalie seriously did look ready to pounce) People were a bet more understanding, but still tense.

"Jacob made you like that?" Edward questioned.

"Yeah," He sighed, "But I don't know why he was so… angry."

Glances were exchanged among family members.

"Well, does anyone remember pissing him off?" Rose asked.

"Where is he, anyways?" Mom questioned.

"Up here," He grumbled from the top of the staircase from above us, peeking his head over the top railing, "And I'm ready to confess."


	32. 31 The Truth Hurts (Litterally)

_**So I know I always give lame excuses as to why haven't written in x number of days or weeks or whatever. I'm pretty embarrassed to say now, that the reason haven't been writing is because I lost my powercord to my laptop, couldn't charge it, and so when it died... Well, I had nowhere to write! You wanna know where I found it? Under my bed. Yeah. **_

_**The Truth Hurts**_

_**Em Pov**_

Jasper had fessed up. Before me, before Rose... I had to go. Mine wasn't even that bad! If I waited to long, well, I would seem more suspicious. If I didn't go now then I'd chicken out. So, I spoke before I had the chance.

"I tried to join the Volturi guard," I mumbled, "I tried to reason with them."

Everyone turned to look at me in the family circle.

"What?" Rose was the first to gasp, "You volunteered to _help _them? To go against your family and fight for _them _of all people?"

"Rose I-"

"No! I'm you're wife, stupid! You're supposed to consult me before things like this!"

"I know but-"

"Emmett, how could you even think that doing something like that would be even remotely okay? If Aro read your mind and heard about Bella we could've all been dead. If you had said just one thing wrong, they could've and would have executed you on the spot! It wasn't just _you _that you happened to put in danger. That is so immature and selfcen-"

"Rose!" Ivyelled in irritation, "Will you just let me explain? I didn't want to join them!"

"Then why would you eve-"

"Please," I begged, "Just let me explain. To all of you." I face my family, turning away from my wife's scrutinizing, cold glare.

"Sure, Emmett. Just... get on with it," Edward sighed, unhappy to be stuck in the middle of my marriage crisis.

"It was months ago. After we left. I couldn't get over how depressed everything had become. I wasn't my happy self anymore.I was sick and tired of all the moping and drama from everybody, but it felt out of place to tell anyone that I just wanted them to stop being sad. I was sad too, but it was getting extremely ridiculous! I knew that Aro wanted Edward and Alice, and I knew that because of Bella our family had something illegal we were hiding. The way things were going, I could easily see Edward doing something drastic. I was afraid that if he did and Aro read his mind about her, he might come after all of us. So instead, I decided to beat Edward to it. I flew out to Italy for just a few days to talk to him, so that he wouldn't be caught off guard. I figured that if i explained it to him, explained that Bella would never be involved in a vampire's life again, and tried to reason with him... Then maybe he'd spare us. I should've talked to you guys about it. I know that. But I was terrified, and I thought you'd all refuse. I was just trying to protect you."

"That doesn't explain why you promised to join them!" Bella exclaimed after my words had sunk into them.

"No. I actually didn't volenteer myself... well not _just_ myself... I-"

"Emmett McCarthy Cullen. If you _dare _tell me that you volenteered all of us, our family, to become a part of those greousome human-eating monsters..." Rosalie threatened me with malice dripping from her voice.

"I'm sorry," I chocked out, "I didn't mean to... It just came out!"

"What _'just came out' _Emmett, hm? That you didn't love us? That you were willing to take us, take _me_ into that hell hole..."

"I did it _for _you, Rosalie!I did it because they _threatened _you! Can't you just get that through your head? They said no to me! They told me that if I didn't make you join... If I didn't... If..." I couldn't take it. All I could think about was what they said they would do to her. How they would treat her. I sobbed into my shirt, sitting myself down of the couch so that I wouldn't collapse.

"Em..."she sighed.

"No," I hissed, "You don't _get _it! He told me that he had to punish us. I begged him not to kill me, not to kill you or anyone. He said that he wouldn't as long as I sold Alice and Edward out to him. I more or less told his that it would be a cold day in hell when I let that happen, so he raised his standards. He threatened something much more than death on me, Rose. So I told him to take me instead. And he refused. Said I was of no use, so I demonstrated my strength. 'Said it wasn't good enough. Wasn't a high enough price. So I volunteered Carlisle. Aro didn't want him. I tried Carlisle and Esme along with myself, figuring that I could keep them mildly away from harm, that they would be the most willing in order to protect the family. He refused again. I couldn't risk letting everyone into his clutches... So I told him that the deal was off. He could kill us if he wanted to, but we would fight back. I told him that if he hurt us, Edward and Alice would never join him. I'm the reason they're coming. The reason they wll kill us."

I barely had time to notice my wife's carefully manicured hand come across my face.

_SMACK!_

"Rose!" Esme exclaimed, "Why would you do that?"

"It's his fault!" She spit, literally in my face. I tried to wipe it off, but she just spit again, "I don't care what he was going to do to me! You _never _get to risk _anyone's _life for me! Now I look like the bad guy! I never-"

"What the hell, Rose? Not everything is about you! I was _helping!_"

"Oh, great job. Now we all get to die because you decided to _help!" _

"Do youeven know what he wanted to do to you?" I asked in monotone.

There was a ring of silence echoing through the room.

"He was going to do the same thing that he did to Esme."

My mother stared at me in shock as the rest of the room turned to face her.

"How do you know that?" She screeched.

"He told me, mom. He said-"

"I don't care," She said in a husky, angry voice, "That was not something you should have known!_"_

_"What is going on?" _Carlisle piped in, his voice demanding, "What did he do?"

"Carlisle, I think we need to talk."

And it all went downhill from there.


	33. 32 When One Door Opens

**_I typed this on my phone in between classes and at like midnight when I couldn't sleep so excuse me any grammarand spelling errors... I have sucky auto-correct _**

Four hours. That's how long it took for Esme to spill. How long it took for her to have a private conversation with Carlisle. How long it took for me to relive my past.

Rape. It was the only word the came to mind. I'd been raped. My mother had been raped. But now? Well she'd been raped twice. Her human husband... And Aro. I was all for revenge, but Aro? It couldn't have been someone else? Anyone else?  
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to watch him slowly die for what he did to my mother. I knew what that was like... How demeaning and violating it was. Something that no girl should ever have to experience, something no man should ever attempt. They were the real kind of monsters. The human- or vampire in this case- kind. The murderers and rapists, who do it for pleasure. As I said, I wanted to hurt him.  
But there was no way to get to him. Not without being executed that is. I mean, no wonder it took Esme four hours to calm Carlisle down. If he'd done something drastic... Well it would be the end of the Cullen's as we knew it. Attacking the volturi was a death sentence. Everyone knew that. They could do whatever they wanted to whoever they wanted- and they couldn't be punished for it. Dictatorship was one way to describe it, but I chose the word evil. Or possibly... Repulsive. Something along those lines would suffice for me, personally.  
And now that Esme had dropped that bomb, following Emmett's big Italy reveal, that came after Jasper's domesticated violence confession... Well everyone was looking at me. And I didn't want to answer, not this time. They would get the wrong impression. I knew they would. But I looked so guilty being the last to talk, as if I must've had the worst secret yet. Who knows, maybe I did? I didn't think so, but depending on how try took it...  
"Do I have to do it tonight?" My voice shook nervously.  
"I dunno..." Emmett sighed sarcastically, "when do you want Alice to came back?"  
"Em, you aren't going to want to hear it."  
"I'm not supposed to, remember? This is her getting back at us in a sick, twisted way, isn't it? The whole point is to make us upset and paranoid."  
"Yeah, but-"  
"Just go, Rosalie, I don't think I can handle this responsibility anymore." Edward practically begged me.  
"I'm sorry." I started steadily, "I'm sorry for about what I'm going to say next. Just hear me out."  
"That is never a good thing to say. 'Just hear me out' like 'okay, we're going to kill him and drag the body, no just hear me out, hear me out it's a good idea, I swear!' " Emmett tried to laugh, but slowly trailed off when he saw the serious glares I him.  
"I went to a psychic." I started.  
"Why does that matter?" Bella asked, confused, "I mean, so what?"  
"Well... I told her what I was and-"  
"Wait, did you learn nothing this past year? Telling a human leads to a change or a death!" Jasper exclaimed.  
"I know, but will you just listen to me? She already knew about us.. I got the number from the Denali's!"  
"Okay so you asked our family friends for a fortune tellers phone number, knowing that your sister was a legit psychic with nearly 100% accurate visions. Makes a lot of sense, babe." Emmett scoffed.  
"I didn't go for the visions," I clarified with a deep breath, "I went because I wanted her to do something."  
There was a pause, the only one of silence so far, as they waited for me o elaborate. I was stuck. How could I tell them? How could I tell Emmett?  
"She had certain... Claims. She said she could do a few things for me. Pull a few strings, you know?"  
"I'm sorry Rosalie, but we really don't." Carlisle responded apologetically.  
"She, uh, said she knew how to... Make me human." I flinched  
Everything was still. No words spoken, no movements occurring. Then they all burst out laughing.  
"That can't happen!"  
"What have you been smoking, Rose?"  
"Can vampires get a fever? I think you're suffering from one now!" Came-mostly my siblings but some of Carlisle and Esme's responses.  
"I'm serious!" I yelled, "I thought she could! She promised! So did Kate! "  
"Wait..." Emmett sobered up from his laughing first, "you seriously just ran off to be human?"  
"We'll not exactly... I mean I figured if a human could turn into a vampire, then why not a vampire back into a human?"  
"So... You didn't even think to tell us about this?" He questioned. I looked down. This was why I didn't want to tell him.  
"I thought you'd say no." I mumbled.  
"Damn right I would!" His voice raised slightly, turning completely serious again, "so what? You were just going to show up at the door, heartbeat and all, like 'Emmy! Look!'"  
"No..." I mumbled, looking down. This was the worst part.  
"Then what, Rose? What were you going to tell me?"  
"I wasn't." I confessed.  
"Excuse me?"  
"I wasn't going to. I was going to get what I needed to be done, done. I was going to cash all of my personal money, and..."  
"Leave." He finished, "you were going to leave me, just for your _humanity_ back?"  
"No, Em-"  
"You only stayed because she was a fraud. It didn't work, so you figured you might as well stay."  
"That's not-"  
"Just for a pulse and a shorter life-span? You would just take off after everything? We've been married four times, Rosalie! You can't just..." It was never a good sign when he called me by my full name instead of 'Rose' or 'Rosie'. He was pissed, and for once, I couldn't blame him.  
"I know. I was being stupid, but I'm so-"  
"Don't you _dare_ say that you're sorry." His voice cracked huskily, filled with mixed emotions. He sat on the couch, driven by both anger and sadness.  
"Don't. Because if you do, it means that if you had the chance again, you wouldn't take it. But I know you. You'll always want that more. You'll always love the idea of human more than you love me. So don't apologize. It'll just hurt more."  
I was afraid to speak again, knowing that I'd most-likely be cut off anyways. In Emmett's silence, followed by his struggle not to break down in front of me, Edward spoke up,  
"Rose, I don't know what exactly happened that made you want to to leave... I thought we were a family!"  
"I didn't want to leave!" I burst, "I just wanted to have a_ life_ again!"  
"So what do it call this, Rose?" Emmett kept from his chair, head practically shaking with anger, as if he were a wolf about to explode, "what is it that you have with us? My god, I gave you _everything_! I did_ everything!_ You have a family and a husband! You have a home and the ability to work on your relationships forever! What is this to you if it isn't your life?" He boomed. He was terrifying, but I could see the glimpse of fear and sadness in his eyes. He was angry, but he was more heartbroken than anything.  
"Emmett, it is a life! Just not the life I always _wanted_! You know what I want! This is hard for me, and you know that!"  
"And you've had over ninety years to make peace with what you are! All of us have come to terms with it! It's not going to change, Rosalie, It's just not! If you want to leave, leave! Because I'm _sick_ of you pining after something you can't have, willing to risk the feelings of everyone else with little cost to you!"  
"You didn't go out of your way to give me a life Emmett! Don't make that out to be the case! Sure. You loved me. You married me. But you didn't help me make amends."  
He looked at me with more hurt in his eyes than he had when I'd slapped him.  
_"Didn't help you make amends?"_ My husband spit, not literally like I had, "what about when I held you all those nights while you cried, what about when I promised we could adopt? When I dedicated an entire day off from our hunting trip to prove that vampirism wasn't so bad? Do you even remember that day, Rose? Do you? Or was that just another_ insignificant date_ in your_ insignificant life_ with me?"  
"Em-"  
"I was a good husband!" He yelled, his voice cracking in fury.  
The room was silenced. There were no words to describe the tension of us all at that moment.  
"And I would never leave you," he muttered quietly, his eyes clenched together. "Not for anything in the world."

**_That whole chapter was unplanned and practically exploded out of me... Woah. Okay. Even I didn't see Rose attempting to leave for humanity. It gives me an idea for a story though... *wink, wink* Just kidding. But seriously, what did you think? _**


	34. 33 Another One Closes

_**I can't update tomorrow (I'll be seeing Matilda on Broadway with my performing arts class, no school's not out for me yet.)... and I don't think that I'll update the following week so much either because I'll be in D.C. for Nationals in History! I'm insanely excited. It's a big event! Haha well I'll try to write a bit in my 6 1/2 hour drive there and hopefully there will be wifi or something in my hotel so I can publish a few chapters but I can't promise to update daily because, well, I gotta get my fill of the Nation's Capital, right? :) SO I might not update but keep your eyes peeled 'cause you never know!**_

"Please," I watched my sister beg, "don't do that. Don't... Give up on us, Emmett."  
I could feel the desperation coming from her in waves. His sorrow and anger overpowered her guilt. They were both depressed and mournful, and it was too much for me to handle. After what I did to Alice, however, I deserved to feel it. I deserved to feel it a million times over.

"But isn't that what you've just done?" He asked in monotone, his emotions starting to blank out completely as if he had none, "by deciding to leave me behind?"

"It would've worked out! Look at Edward and Bella!"

"What about them?"

"They're happy, and he still left her!"

"For her own good," he sighed emotionless, as if the conversation were growing tiresome for him. Like he was completely bored with the words being exchanged, "tell me why your decision considered anyone but yourself."

"It didn't but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have ever come back to you, I saw how Edward was! I would never wish that on you!"

A flare if emotion swept across him for a split second, washing over me.

"That's the worst part Rose! You decided to leave way before you knew about Bella! You saw how Edward dealt with the loss, how depressed he had made everything, and you _still_ did the selfish thing. What does that prove, even if you were planning on coming back in a year or two? How do you justify that?"

"At least I didn't attempt to get us all killed." She growled, finally losing her temper. I'll admit I was impressed with how long she took the blame and insults without retaliating... But she'd finally snapped under pressure. She had let her sarcasm slip. And now Emmett was slipping from her, too.

"I did that for you. I volunteered to have myself killed. What I did was for the sake of our family. I was not selfish. I was not thinking of only myself. I was thinking that maybe crazy old me might just want to do what was right for once."

"I-"  
"No. We've been arguing for too long, okay? Maybe we should let someone else play the torture-that's-worse-than-burning-in-Hell-game that Alice invented for us."

We were all just watchers, bystanders, seeing their marriage and entire relationship fall apart. Now, he wanted us to speak, to sidetrack everything, but what could we possibly say?

"No? Alright then. I guess we'll just continue, in that case." He glared in my general direction. "Fine. Rose, you get a chance to tell me the honest truth. I won't interrupt or object. Say what you need to prove your point."

"It's just... My whole life, the only thing I'd ever wanted was a family. A real family. With children and grandchildren. I wanted to grow old with someone...I love you more than anyone in the world Emmett, but if I could go back in time, prevent myself from ever meeting Royce, I would. Because then I would never have been violated, yes, and that's a big part of it...but I'd also still have a chance at a family. I'd still have a chance and kids and growing old. Just not..." She struggled, trying to find a way to put it gently.

"With me." He whispered.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Well you said it like that." He sighed, "thanks for being honest, though. At least now I know."

"Know what?"

"That even though you love me, I'm just a distraction to help you get over the loss of not having a real life. That, to you, we don't count as a 'real family.' At least I know... That after everything we've been through, you would still rather have never even met me, so that you could have a baby. I've given you everything you've ever wanted, Rose. I'm just sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted most. I'm sorry I wasn't enough."

"Don't talk like that. Under the circumstances..."

"_Under the circumstances_" he hissed, "tell me, if we had been human together and you found out that I couldn't have kids but you could... Would you leave me? What about those circumstances?"

She didn't respond. We all knew the answer, but nobody wanted to admit it. Saying it out loud was too heartbreaking. Mostly because though it was Emmett who was in love with her, we all loved her. And she was going to leave us all. Even me. I swallowed, wanting nothing but to end this conversation.

"I think I love you more than you love me," He sighed, "I'm more into this relationship. It's a sucky end to be on... The one that cares more. The one who loves more. You have it easy. I love you too much, that no matter what you do I'll always love you. Because those are the cards I was dealt. But you can break me, and not feel broken. You can torture me without the same pain. I can't do that."

At first, it sounded like he was taking her back, telling her that he'd always love her no matter what. But then, i realized that it wasn't him making amends, no not at all. It was the final nail in the coffin, and he was driving it in. There was silence after he said this, his words seeping through our minds as we saw the hidden meaning. Emmett, the hopeful, always believing, never-give-up guy... was giving up. And there was nothing any of us could do to change his mind. The finality in his tone was bone-chilling. It was over. He was done. The tension in the room took it's toll on me and I grasped to change the subject.

"I think I'd like to know what the dog was going to say." I piped in. It felt wrong to volunteer him, but he had offered to tell his story earlier, until he had been shot down by Emmett's sudden and extremely severe reveal of trying to join the guard.  
"What?" He looked up.  
"What was your confession going to be?"  
"Nah. I probably don't even count. I was gonna tell you but... I dunno... I'm not even a part of the family. She wasn't talking about me."  
"Were you in the room?" Emmett asked, obviously trying to clear his mind from his dissipating love, his voice uncaring and monotone. Jake nodded.  
"Then you count. Go on." He sounded as if he was trying to be sarcastic, but his heart just wasn't in it today. I couldn't blame him either.  
"It's so stupid... It just... My secret. I've never told anyone about this. I think your sister is just trying to embarrass me... Um... Uh..."  
I could feel the lies vibrating off of him.  
"Don't make up some bogus story, Jacob." I warned.  
"Fine." He lost the nervous smile, "okay, so it's not something stupid and embarrassing. I just don't know how to tell you all."  
"Just spit it out, Jake!" EJ demanded.  
"The pack is coming. Here. Soon."

Okay, maybe changing the subject wasn't the smartest thing to do.

_**So, how'd I do? Did you get the titles? Least chapter was 'when one door opens' which talked about Rose's opportunity and 'another one closes' is the fact that their relationship is pretty much over (For now, i might fix things but I'm still undecided...) And yes, I know I got the saying backwards But that was the point! Any suggestions or thoughts? I write this as I go along so the next chapter is unplanned as always. :)**_


	35. 34 Where to Turn When it All Goes Down

_**Writing this on my way to D.C.! **_

_**Jake POV**_

"Wait, how many pups are we talking here?" Emmett demanded.

"None. We're not puppies. We're people." I growled back.

"Pretty hairy people, if you as me."

I ignored him, sympathizing him. He could be as sarcastic as he wanted towards me… if wouldn't give him his little girlfriends back. Speaking of tha blonde one, she piped in,

"Why are they coming? What did you tell them, dog?" She spit.

"Woah. Nicknames coming from the blonde. I'm impressed."

"I think you'll be more impressed with my left-hook, so long as you don't explain yourself." I was almost afraid of her threats. Almost, but not quite.

"Well, if the Barbie insists."

She glared, but stayed silent. The room silenced, waiting for me to explain the pack. How much should I tell them? Everything in the pack was sealed with strict confidentiality… but didn't I owe Bella at least this much? After all she'd been through, it didn't seem fair to take them away again.

"I don't think it's so serious," I started cautiously, "Sam just wants to make a few points of our treaty clear to you. You know, like how you can't come back anymore."

"What? Why?" Bella demanded.

"Easy enough to explain. Blondie over here bit you. It's against our treaty. You can't go back to Forks as long as the pack's there."

"Don't pin this on me, you mutt! I saved her goddamn life."

"Don't you mean you _damned _her in the first place? She's not even living anymore!"

"Are we seriously going over this again, Jake?" My best friend demanded, "Look, I wanted this. It isn't fair to punish them for giving me what I wanted them to."

"Explain that to Sam."

"Maybe I will."

"That doesn't mean he'll listen."

"Trust me, he will."

Nobody was sure of what to say next. I felt bad, breaking the news to them. It was no secret that Forks was one of the Cullen's favorite homes. They'd mentioned it several times. It was the hardest one to say goodbye to. Not to mention all of the memories that belonged in Forks. Knowing Bella, she's want to go and see those places at some point. She would also want to visit her father, which was nearly impossible now.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "But I don't think… Look, you just have to understand that you'll never be allowed to go there."

"Never?" Edward repeated. Even though I hated him, I didn't like the tone of heartache and disappointment in his voice. It was contagious. I didn't exactly enjoy inflicting pain to people… even if it was Edward Cullen. He actually wasn't _that _bad.

"Gee, thanks." He muttered.

The faces of the family were sullen as reality sunk in. The closest place to a home had been taken away from them. It wouldn't seem like such a big deal if not for the fact that it was where Bella was added, where EJ was born and grew up… Where Edward's life finally began. Believe it or not, I was hurting too. The pack expected me to rejoin them in Washington after they'd talked to Carlisle. I had to go home at some point… but that meant leaving my best friend behind. It meant never seeing her or EJ ever again. They were almost like family to me, distant relatives maybe, but still family.

"What are we going to do?" Jasper muttered, looking slightly frazzled and exhausted at the same time. He was so rarely flustered, but after his wife left him, he lost his home, and all… I could understand if he wasn't feeling 100%... it seemed nobody really was.

Emmett was a hot mess, a walking wreck. He couldn't quite function and his sarcastic comments seemed forced and insincere, as if he were just a shadow of the funny person he'd been just a day ago. Rosalie was equally as bad, guilt visibly eating away at her. She looked tired and frail, the shadows under her eyes more prominent than normal. Of course, Edward was cracking under pressure, holding onto all of these secrets. Yes, we all had to hear them, but he was the one who held the frighteningly large responsibility. Bella was upset over everything. She was losing her home. She was losing her young-life childhood, the place that she fell in love, the place where she conceived, gave birth to, and raised her only child. Bella was never one to completely let go of the past, one example being her obsession over stalking the Cullen's after their depart.. Carlisle and Esme were obviously a mess, forced to watch their family crumble to dust around them. The family that they'd worked so hard to build together… gone. It was all gone. Alice was nowhere to be found, but we all knew that she had completely lost it. Let's be honest… She'd completely lost her bubbly personality, blackmailing and forcing her own family into playing twisted games of paranoia equal enough to torture. She'd gone loony. No wonder she had been in and insane asylum as a human… maybe she should've stayed there… And then there was EJ. Constantly feeling guilty about bringing trouble to the only family he'd ever known. He was growing up in this… How could he possibly stand it? The truth was simple to see. He couldn't.

The Cullens were falling, and they were falling fast, just about to hit the ground. _Hard. _And part of it was my fault. I had told the pack about Bella being a vampire. I was the final straw, the last nail in the coffin. I was the person who would end the Cullens, because without their home, when the lawmakers came for them, when the drama had left them broken—nearly unfixable— and nobody was happy anymore, where could they turn to?

_**I'm sorry it's so short! But at least I made a chapter! Thanks for reading! PS I heard that pressing the review button made a magical box appear, and typing in that box would make magical words appear, and sending those words to me would magically make another chapter appear faster! (So spread the magic, will ya?) **_


	36. 35 Falling

_**I apologize for my lateness... I got back from Washington later than expected. On the up side, I'm out of school! Do you know what that means? **_

**_EJ POV _**

Falling. That was the word my father said Jacob used to describe our family. Or at least what was left of our family. Falling down, falling apart, but mostly falling fast. We were going down faster than the titanic, and the freezing water below us was not calm nor comforting. We would all drown.

"EJ, you can't think like that. Not at a time like this." Edward reprimanded.

"My thoughts aren't what's tearing us apart. I still have a right to them." I said, stubbornly. I wasn't being rude so much as stressing out, and he could see that.

"I'm sorry... I just don't know what to do. We all said our secrets, so where the hell is Alice?" It didn't seem like he was talking to me anymore.

"That's not true." I blurted out.

He turned to look at me questionably. I wanted to clarify, but I didn't know how. I was in the room. I was there. That meant I was untrustworthy, right? But what did I do?

"You didn't do anything," Edward mumbled, "You would've known. You're just a kid, EJ. She wasn't talking about you. Don't stress yourself out. Please."

"But I must've done _something! _Just look at me, dad! I'm an eight year old trapped in a fifteen year old's body! I'm a hybrid, a freak. I had a shitty childhood, and a crappy home-life... I'm growing up _here _of all places! I live with eight vampires and a werewolf! I have no friends and... and..."

"And what?" He looked at me with sad eyes.

"And I'm a horrible person."

"EJ..."

"No, don't do that. Don't act all sympathetic and pull the 'you're just a kid' crap. I'be been through a lot. I've done horrible things to people. Just look around. I'm the reason that this family is failing. I ruined everything. And I know we've had this conversation before. How it's not my fault. How I didn't do anything. But really, those conversations just bury how I really feel. If I had never come back to find you, if I just went to an adoption agency, or to live with Charlie... Alice would be here, The secrets would be hidden, and our family would be perfectly fine."

there was a short break in between my words, and before I could continue, he spoke up.

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. I think you're forgetting that I'm the one who screwed everything up to begin with by leaving. Everyone was already a wreck. Things look bad now, but if we could buy ourselves enough time to rebuild our relationships, I think you coming back to us will be better in the long run. Anything bad that's happened all started when I left. Don't blame yourself for what you see."

"And that's where _you're _wrong," I heard a voice from behind me, " I had the chance to stop you from going."

My mom stepped in, sitting next to Edward.

"It was _not _your fault." He chuckled humorlessly, "I shouldn't have ever even thought of leaving you. Words can't even express the guil-"

He was shushed by my mom, who shook her head, "We aren't playing that game anymore. We've been over this. You didn't know. You thought you knew what was best."

"Bella-"

"No, now both of you get to listen to me. You know what really started this? That day in biology class, when I met you. If anything, we can blame my mom for marrying Phil and making me feel pressured into going to Forks. Or we can blame the school authorities for putting us in classes together. Maybe we should tell off our biology teacher for making us sit together. We could blame Charlie for leading my mom into leaving him, which set off a chain reaction of mom marrying Phil, me coming here, going to school, and meeting you. Hell, if you want, we can take it up with my grandmother for giving birth to my dad! It's just the way life works! It's nobody's fault. It's the world screwing us over again and again, for her own pleasure. She's a bitch. So it's not my fault, or yours or Charlie's or my mom's or Mr. Banner's. EJ, you can't blame yourself for anything, because nobody can. It's not our fault."

We soaked in this information, clearing our minds of guilt and pressure for a moment, before reality set in.

"But that's not how I feel."

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow in my direction.

"I don't feel the way you're telling me to. I feel... wrong. I feel like it's my fault. And nothing you say can ever take that from me. Because it's how I feel. I'm the only one in charge of my emotions." I let out a weak laugh, "Well, except for Jasper, of course. But that's not the point. I just want to be whole. I've never been complete, even before all of this. I feel... empty, I guess, Incomplete. That's how I feel, and only by being put back together as a family will ever change that. I need my family. I love them."

There was a ding and my dad pulled our his phone, flashed a smile, and set the phone down on the table. He got up and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you." He laughed.

"Dad, what are you...?"

But he ran away. I looked after him, confused, before retreating to his cell phone.

_Guess this means I'm coming back. We finally heard the last secret. The was EJ feels. Took him long enough. _

Alice was coming.

Alice would be here.

Yes, we were still falling. But, now? We had a parachute to slow it all down.

_**What did ya think? I don't know how much longwer y'all want me to continue this... It's getting reaallyyy long but I love writing it. do you think it's getting washed out? Should I end it? **_


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